The second life is so called hardworking people their careers. How is in most cases it develops? We are all learning, we get an education, arrange to work, and then ... the very weekdays begin, about which our illusions and dreams are often broken. For some reason, we do not become big bosses, and if we have a guiding position in your pocket, it does not bring the joy and satisfaction to which we have sought. And now the career dreams turns into routine responsibilities, the burden that we pull every day. Is it different? Of course! We tell about exactly how it happens and what you need to do for this.
Remember how it was? We, small, so wanted to grow as soon as possible that the whole world with their messy opportunities opened for us! It seemed that we could go where only wished, it was worth just graduating from school. Psychologists assure us: before the ninety percent of yesterday's schoolchildren, they enter adult life with the feeling of anticipation of something real, the magical, long-awaited. They are reported on inexorable statistics and further: for ten years after the release, each second has an elevated anxiety syndrome, each third is familiar with a reactive or clinical depression. Almost all of them complain of fatigue, insomnia, a decrease in libido. Not a very pleasant picture, right? Especially if you remember that we are talking about twenty-five-year-old young people. And in such a state, those who outwardly everything was excellent: a stable salary, a cozy office, nice colleagues, career prospects ... If nothing has changed, to forty years in the chairs of psychotherapists turned out to be totally tired, indifferent, burned people who have not seen His problem worked and worked, worked, worked ... It is difficult to believe that the very second life, which we dedicate so much time of our main life can bring us such a number of problems and worries. But is there no way out and change something already in conscious age? Of course, it is possible, but for this it is worth returning to the sources.
What to do if you realized that they do not do with your own business, but you can't rush to the outer with your head?
Photo: pexels.com.
Squirrel in the wheel
From the very childhood, the program is laid in the head: learn good, go to a prestigious university, because you will be waiting for a long, very long road called "Career", and it is important that you can provide yourself with this career.
... And now, for a second, imagine what it is for a sixteen-year-old teenager - to realize that in the near future he has to make a fateful choice, and every error can lead "not there"? Under the "not there", of course, the stagnation is understood in the status of the unemployed or, at worst, the work of the janitor. Both also worries yesterday's schoolchild. And what happens next? Under pressure from parents and society, a graduate rushes to receive any specialty to which will be able to "reach". Of course, it was very rare such a shot to the target falls into the goal, and at the stage of studying the student, dissatisfaction begins to be copied.
By the way, very many do not notice that something is not so for a turbulent university life: a new status, new acquaintances, new challenges do not give to realize that the choice made almost by chance does not bring joy. And then the family life begins, and now there is no time to think, the way you do, as they say, in life, they appear children ... And now you are a parent who knows how better, and your child is forced to accept his decision.
Good news: it is possible to escape from this closed circle, however, the first thing you need to find courage and admit to your own problems. You will be surprised, but not always to do it simply, because the difficulties of the career part are almost always moved to the background. I remember, one of my acquaintance was told that it was helped by him to leave a highly paid position in a large company and start a musician career. Somehow Pasha after a hard working day watched the series "Friends", in which one of the heroes, Chandler, suddenly quit from the place of work. He held him a few long years and went literally to nowhere. My comrade was inspired by this episode and threw his position on the same day. It turned out to do it easier, much easier than Paul represented.
Standard burnout prevention is regular and full-fledged days off when you can in line and figurative sense to disconnect from the workflow.
Photo: pexels.com.
Of course, the reality and the series turned out to be at all alike on each other. The money from Pasha is quickly ended, he began to make money far from immediately, but an excitement, a courage and passion with whom the young man joined the selected path, helped him hold out and not to lower his hands. In numerous conversations with us, he recalled that he always wanted to enter the music college, but his parents and teachers insisted on receiving a specialty manager.
To say frankly, this story every time makes me skeptically raising an eyebrow. The picture is too idealistic: a tortured clerk visits insight, he throws everything and achieves success in a new field. An excellent plot for the film, but in reality we are all burdened with many commitments that cannot be left for the sake of a bright future that may not come. How to do if you realized that they do not do with their own business, but you can't rush to the outer with your head?
Psychologists are very strongly advised to start ... with a hobby! You will be engaged in what you love, while not paying for this wage. Remember that the path to a thousand steps begins with one, do not fit yourself, let the time you did not have in school years. Allow yourself to enjoy the occupation that will bring you pleasure, let you do not yet imagine how you can earn it. The decision will come.
My close girlfriend always laid with children. All our familiar mothers adored when Mila came to visit, the kids were happy and more. Worked Mila by the director of the network store, and colleagues were guarded by their boss: from nature an excellent organizer; Clear, calm, kind, fair and patient, Lyudmila Evgenievna was a favorite boss of all employees. Everything went to her and went out, but at some point she admitted to me: "Everything, I can't more, there is no extension!" And I went to work out with the evening nurse in kindergarten. It would seem, well, where else, if the hands are lowered? But the second breathing was reached as an amazing way. After several months of combination, it was called to work in a private elementary school, where she was able to implement all their best qualities. That was the saddest of all the farewell working parties, parties to part with Lyudmila Evgenyyevna did not want her sellers in any way.
Burn, but do not burn
Well, what about those who chose their own job, every day I was happy, going to the colleagues to the office or at the plant, but at some point I lost this joy at some point? Why is this happening? Omnipresent psychologists call two main reasons: professional burnout and global changes in ourselves. Let's tell about everything in order.
Important!
Relaxation. To avoid professional burnout, it is simply necessary to comply with at least three conditions. The first is to regularly rest, as a brief (weekly weekly weekend!), As well as longer. Do not forget to take holidays at least a week twice and three times a year.
Switching. Your absence in the workplace, unfortunately, does not mean that you are relaxing (especially now, in the period of "removal"). It is extremely important to "disconnect" from workflows: no phones, business correspondence, mail checks and maintain contacts with colleagues, only you and your loved ones are important.
Control. In order not to scream into disappointment and discontent with your career, it is important to feel your significance. Even if you do not take a senior position, much depends on you - and therefore you need to feel it. Understand that you control the situation and are responsible for "your" zone, colleagues and adequate guide will help.
The term "burnout" appeared relatively long ago: experts work with him for about forty years. It was originally believed that only representatives of the so-called saving specialties are "burning": directly rescuers, firefighters and police, doctors and teachers. Fit this list and psychotherapists. But later it turned out that almost all working people are familiar with this ailment, from drummers of production to top managers of international companies.
Pregnose whether you will unwind, you can already arrive at work. It depends on several factors. First of all, your ability to "hold a blow" (yes, we are talking about the very stress resistance!) And find a support and help when they need them. The team and the atmosphere in it is very important. It is difficult to feel at the height and enjoy the workflow when the clocks also reign in the office, you are struggling with gossip and peres, and instead of the team game you feel constant competition. The authorities and the attitude of the higher to you as a separate framework play great importance, determining what is the probability of overcoating as a specialist.
My brother, never able to share experiences, moved from Russia to Europe to be able to develop as a professional. And first everything went well: a career in the IT-sphere, which the brother just adored, was in the mountain. But in a few years he suddenly returned to Moscow, saying that he no longer wants and could not work where he worked. It turned out that he had almost no contact with his colleagues - the expected turn, the Language barrier turned out to be all. Realizing what is happening, Zhenya "pulled up" English and was able to establish relationships with comrades for work. With the leadership, which is characteristic, communication also reached a new level.
But my friend Ani with contacts was everything perfectly - in the end she worked as a poring stars. Her career could envy each: permanent parties, excellent income, demanding and respect for customers and colleagues. True, she did not have a weekend. At all. At all. She was appreciated because it was in touch, as they say, twenty-four to seven. Personal life very closely walked up with a professional, and it was already incomprehensible, where it ends (and whether it ends at all) one and the other begins. Favorite work, which was a source of inspiration, became a nightmare for a girlfriend. The exit, she did not see, delicate hints of the psychotherapist ignored, as a result was on the hospital bed. Forced vacation in the neurological department, where telephones and laptops were banned, went to her. Finally, Anna accepted an inexorable fact: to work fruitfully and happily, it was necessary to rest fruitfully.
Standard burnout prevention is regular and full-fledged days off when you can in line and figurative sense to disconnect from the workflow and forget that you are a professional. It is very important to receive high-quality feedback from colleagues and bosses: when you understand that your work is valuable that your efforts are needed by the team and management, the motivation to work increases. Finally, you should be able to manage processes, know that you can make decisions. Otherwise, the feeling is formed that you are only a minor cord in a huge mechanism.
Before you leave everything and rush into the outer with your head, break up with all the illusions that could surround your dream profession
Photo: pexels.com.
It is quite another thing if your favorite office has ceased to be so, because you ... have changed. Yes, and it happens. I will not go far for examples: after a few happy years in journalism, I realized that I want something else. The editorial office, in which I walked, rejoicing every Monday, began to be treated, I stopped feeling that I do something significant, important. It so happened because my installations and priorities changed, I revised the values and landmarks. This can be expected to be expected to any of us: welcome, middle-aged crisis! Closer to thirty we overestimate your whole life and very often we have the courage to abandon the attributes of the past. Those who come out of this crisis, retaining a career, can be envied - or to sympathize, because without a "reset" during this period it is difficult to wait for wonders in the future. It is to thirty years, plus-minus for several years, we more or less we know ourselves and our capabilities, have already learned how to hear their needs and arrange priorities. We can understand that the main thing is a family or career, we understand how to gain balance and harmony. At this age, the career takes off. Top are those who came to awareness and are ready to work with their strong and weak parties, development zones and desires. Returning to my story, exactly twenty-nine I realized that I want to change journalism for teaching, and a year later I was already taught Russian at school. Then the decree happened in my life, and after I gladly returned to the editor - but this is a completely different conversation.
We are all running as if in the harness, obeying the voice that heard years ago: "Rather! It is important to have time, it is important to start, work! " Who, when, how - sometimes life puts us in such conditions that it becomes not important. But when you have a chance to exhale, try to answer yourself one simple question: are you happy when Monday comes? If the answer is "no," you know where to start. Good luck!
I want to quit everything. How?
If you understand that your professional path has started you in a dead end, do not hurry to burn bridges. Perhaps you "burned out"? Check it out with a short vacation and several sessions at the psychotherapist. If you still do not want to return "to the service", proceed to the next item.
Changing career, it is important to understand that you have to start a lot from scratch. Do you agree to be an intern, a younger specialist, a man "on the blisters"? There is nothing wrong with that, but it is important to realize that it is most likely to happen. Financial "Pillow" will be by the way. Start with small: attend master classes for the topic of interest to you, look at those who are already engaged in "your" business, talk to them, read the environment. Before you leave everything and rush into the outer with your head, break out all the illusions that could surround your dream profession.