From the letter of our readers:
"Hello Maria.
I'm married. We got married for a long time, even very young, but it does not interfere with us, unlike other couples of our peers. That is, I do not regret at all that I chose my husband in my husband. I tell it to explain my situation - I have a lover. Also a young man, a little older than me. And I feel good too! I am not a polygamna by nature (that is, I'm not bl ...), but here's the fact that I have two men and essentially I love - it is very strange, in my opinion. I, probably, one day you have to choose, but I can not. For me, they are both equally roads. Tell me, Maria, maybe such or still someone I love more and then how to determine it?
Without a signature."
Hello!
Thanks for your letter and for your openness.
I have a few assumptions about your situation. One of them is that in relationships with her husband, and in relationships with the lover you get something very important to you. Moreover, what is in some respects is completely absent in others. And vice versa. Usually the woman turns the "novel on the side" precisely because of the fact that she lacks something in the already existing relationship - attention, affection, communication ...
If you disassemble an abstract appearance of an alternative partner, it happens, this is due to the fact that in a pair in people unequal sexual needs. The one who is not enough, "trying to fill it. Most often, people avoid emotional intimacy with each other, they are afraid of very close communication. And then with the help of the third person they manage to maintain a distance.
It should be taken into account that sometimes in partnerships we avoid conflict situations. We are worried about something, and to say scary ... Suddenly everything collapses! Therefore, we are looking for "consolations" in other respects. It is like a way to compensate for the problems on the side.
Finally, the appearance of the third can be viewed as a provocation, a signal to what needs to be changed in relationships ...