From the letter readers Womanhit:
"Hello Maria!
My question is banal and trivial, probably. My relationship went to a dead end, stopped pleased me, and, as I think my young man. Previously, everything was not so ... We walked in the evenings, went to the movies, we had permanent sex. We were so in love with each other that no one was needed for us. And now it seems that love has passed. No already sparkling in the eyes, there is no joy from every meeting ... 3 years of living together killed all the romance. It seems to be native people to each other, living together we are comfortable, and love seems to be. And so I want it, because for this we live on earth. What would you advise whether to continue the relationship?
Svetlana, 29 years old.
Hello Svetlana!
Your question is not at all basin, but very relevant. Especially today - in the spring ... especially at your age when a woman is full of strength and energy.
He directly concerns modern ideas about ideal love relationships. And men and women dream of swimming in the sea of feelings so that the passion so that the romance lasted forever ... In such respects, we feel truly happy. This presentation is a social myth imposed on us from outside with the help of literature and cinema. In modern psychology, even a specially described phenomenon of "romantic love" is a whole set of installations, ideals and expectations from relationships. He lies in the fact that, falling in love, we begin to believe that we would find the final meaning of life in the object of our love. We experience a whole range of powerful and bright feelings, thanks to which life acquires value. And unconsciously we are waiting that our partner will support the same intensity of feelings and delight. But this does not happen. It is impossible to live all my life, constantly experiencing so many passions and emotions. It is impossible even physically! And the whole snag is that we chase for romance, for bright sensations, and not for relationships.
People tend to believe that romantic love is ideal, and the rest of the relationship is much less valuable. In fact, she is cowar, because it requires constant evidence that one day ceases to receive. And when our illusions evaporate, we feel unhappy and lonely. Emotions have dirty and it seems to us that love has passed, and life has ended.
It's not like that at all! Do not be afraid of reality! This is not the end of the relationship, but the beginning of new ones. Continue to communicate further, schedule joint goals and open other horizons with your chosen one. Look at each other with open eyes, and not blurred crazy feelings. True love does not require constant evidence. Now you will see if this is your man, you will be fine together and without sparking in the eye. In the end, your "comfortable" is already a small plus ...
So, if the relationship ceased to disturb the blood, if you finally sleep quietly at night and stopped thinking about your beloved every minute, then you should not do from this radical conclusions. And do not throw in search of a new prince;)
If you have questions about our family psychologist, send them to the address: [email protected] marked "Family".