What is the crisis relationship in the family? What are they manifested?
The crisis relations in the family arise when the goals to whom consciously or unconsciously move partners in living together, they begin not to coincide first, and over time, they do not care and achieve these goals at the same time, both partners do not work at all and together with this partners are no longer prepared Wait or sacrificing your goals to the goals of another. For example, the wife has long wanted a child and is no longer ready to wait until the husband earn money on the apartment, although he also wants to have a child, but later. She is no longer waiting until the husband reaches the goal, and herself decides to give birth to a child. Or another example, the wife has long wanted her parents to move to live in their common home with her husband, and her husband is not ready for this, although it does not speak directly about it.
Mikhail Burniesh
Materials press services
What factors in modern Russia most often cause the crisis of family relations?
Factors are mostly all the same as before. People are like people, only they spoiled them the apartment question - the question of the lack of space for the families of the family, one and most frequent causes of family crises, especially when it comes to children. Other common factors are love triangles and polygons and, of course, the relations of partners with their own parents.
Family crisis - hopelessness and imminent end or is there hope for salvation of the "cell of society"?
The family crisis is not only the trial time, but also a huge chance of changes to the better. For more than 20 years, one weekend per month I am leading a three-day seminar "Crisis of Love", where we are together with my customers looking for ways out of a wide variety of family crises. During this time, more than 5,000 customers have not only coped with their family crises, but also discovered completely new horizons of family relations, which were not even dreamed of. But the paradox lies in the fact that at the new level of relationships there are completely different crises, but they are solved.
Is it easy to establish a harmonious relationship in the family? What does that require?
Harmonious family relations are everyday work of all family members: spouses, partners, parents. First of all, in any crisis situation, you need to talk about the crisis, and if you are silent, everything is exacerbated. Of course, resources are needed to resolve the crisis, and if they are not, then you need to look for them. If there is a lock (problem), then the castle always has a key (solution). As there are no locks without keys, there is no crisis without solutions.
Do trainings help, games in working with "problematic" spouses? What methods showed the greatest efficiency?
Trainings showed their small efficiency in working with the problems of the pair. If the spouses work separately, then this is, on the contrary, leads to the exacerbation of the crisis, and often to the rupture of relations. If one spouse works on a solution, and the other is not, then it only worsens the situation. The decision leads to pair therapy, when both spouses (partner) come to therapy, honestly talk about their feelings, sensations, purposes, restrictions, together looking for resources, support each other. Fast and effective methods are systemic therapy of pairs, client-centered arrangements, systemic sexual therapy.
Why in case of deterioration of relations in the family it is better to immediately contact a psychologist? What can you wish to families in which "not all is well"?
In the event of a crisis in the family, normal communication is usually broken and often unconsciously repeats some kind of negative generic scenario from the past and being inside this scenario is almost impossible to see it and get out of it, and a psychologist who sees a relationship in a pair from the side and retains neutrality very quickly sees the core of the problem. There is a well-known saying: "In someone else's eye, I seen a sort, and in my log does not notice." Being in the problem We do not see the very log, which is very clearly visible to an experienced professional. And families in the crisis can wish to start listening to each other, start from 20 minutes a day. The first 10 minutes says one partner, and the other only listens to him, then the opposite. Good luck to you!