Why did the man who had not even breathe on you before, began to allow himself to talk on elevated colors? This may be several reasons.
Yulia Lansk, an expert on the selection of an ideal pair for marriage
5 reasons why a man raises the voice:
1 Reason - cooling
Your chosen one who burned strong feelings began to feel that they leave. He no longer loves you as before. You are no longer so valuable for him, so you can risk relationships going to the decline.
2 Cause - Stability
The phase of the candy-bought period ends and the stability of the relationship begins, the smooth phase when the relationships go to a new level. You have already been conquered, answered your man with reciprocity, and he relaxed.
3 Cause - Provocation
He can behave so intentionally to see how you react to the stressful situation. To make a decision on marriage, a man needs to experience you so that you show yourself in different events.
4 Cause - repulsion
Quarrels can occur at slippery places of relationships that are in different periods of your convergence with a man. These places need to know to pass them in the repulsion phase worthy, not allowing mistakes. I will continue to tell more about this.
5 Cause - Habit
Previously, you did not know and were afraid of the word not so to speak, it was not the best, showed themselves only with the best side. Now you are already "your own", you are so accustomed that you are not completely shy not to hide your bad mood.
Conflict is easy to destroy even the strongest union, but you can wrap it and benefit
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10 rules exit from quarrels and disputes
1 Rule: Watch
Look at the man and analyze its condition. If he has a bad mood, you need to understand what it is more located. He wants to go to his cave and think? Or is he ready to chat with you and share the problem? Never insist on a conversation if he does not want it.
2 Rule: Do not be actions
Do not take it bad mood to your personal account. The reasons why a man can be upset, set. If he goes to work in a good mood, and returned to the clouds, most likely, these are some kind of business problems or fatigue. It can be upset by colleagues, acquaintances, break the car, sow a head.
3 Rule: not a mirror
Some women immediately begin to behave in the same way as their man behaves. They put on his mask and are in the same way, instead of being his warm sun and heating her beloved. He is sullen - they are sullen. He is tensely silent - they do the same. This leads only to one: a snowball is growing negative.
4 Rule: Do not argue
You can convey your opinion without an open confrontation. First, agree with a man, and then add the phrase with your opinion. "Yes, you're right, but also ..." - and then you can already calmly bring him your arguments. After your consent, he will take your words calmly, and resistance will breed resistance.
Not mirror bad mood partner
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5 Rule: Be careful
Often, people bring their negative from the outside, without easily giving it to their loved ones. The man has a bad mood, it is difficult for him to keep himself in his hands, it is screwed, tense, can not relax. He can merge all this on you, but you must understand that you are not really a desired recipient.
6 Rule: Do not prove
If you have a height of a quarrel, you should not prove your right point. This is a completely meaningless occupation, which will only lead to a larger conflict. You will not be heard, will not approve your point of view. Do not think that if you convey your opinion more persistently, suddenly agree with him and will take it.
7 Rule: Understand
If you want you to hear - hear your interlocutor for yourself. Try to understand what your man tells you why he is on the dispute on the other side of the barricades. Watch him that you are well aware of his motives, which reviewed his point of view and imagine its motives. This will show your respect for his thoughts.
8 Rule: Change
All negative promises that can only arise in the dispute, try to translate into another channel and change their pole, transferring to positive. You can strengthen the conflict, developing it, pouring oil into the fire. But you can also extinguish, soothing, reducing the degrees of the operation of your communication.
9 Rule: Do not be offended
No need to be offended if a man seems to you, you can not hear or just silent. First, if you argue and do not accept his point of view, on his part you do not hear it no less. And if he fell silent - or "went to the cave", or decided that the further dispute was not constructive and should be paused.
10 Rule: Do not blackmail
There is nothing worse than manipulations during the conflict. No need to threaten that if you do not agree with you, you will introduce some specific sanctions. Such pressure itself low and leads to the complete collapse of any relationship. This is the most real blackmail, and no self-respecting person will suffer like this.
But the storm subsided, you stopped the conflict. Perhaps they just got out, decided to stop due to the fact that they did not come to consensus and pause. What's next?
Already out of a quarrel, in a harmonious balance, go back to the calm decision of the situation
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3 councils how to behave after a quarrel
№1. Patience
You do not need to try to continue the conversation again, talking to a man, call him a new conversation. Be patient. You need to give it time to think, cool, and when he will be ready to continue the conversation, he will start him himself. And perhaps on more favorable conditions for you. In the meantime, he is not ready - to touch him meaningless.
№2. Borders
But you came up, the passions calmed down, decisions and exit from the conflict situation were found. Analyze, as your quarrel passed, and if the man invaded your territory, roughly broke your borders, it is necessary to specify with it, gently indicate that you do not like and where he behaved unacceptable.
Number 3. Reaction
Already out of a quarrel, in a harmonious balance, return to the calm difference of the situation. Talk about it with your man, choosing a convenient moment when it is good to you. Ask him what a response from you he expected to see? How would he see the ideal clarification of relationships, the passage of conflict?
As you can see, you can swear and put on your relationship, parting, and you can act on the basic rules of conflict and leave it worthy, and even the winner.
Quarrels, conflicts and disputes - a whole science! And the ability is worthy of them to go out - life exams with you perfectly!
I, Yulia Lansk, an expert on the selection of an ideal pair for marriage, I wish you to have as few unpleasant situations in your life, let it be filled with calm, harmony and love!