"Hello Maria!
My name is Ivan. Perhaps you will not answer my letter, but I still decided to take a chance and write to the female forum. Madly I want to hear the opinion of the opposite side ...
I want to say in advance that I do not want to offend anyone. And maybe others will be interesting to look at the situation on the other side. Everyone is a well-known problem: men always lack sex. So I encountered it at 29. I live with my faithful already as 2 years. Apartment one-room, but ours. I work, I carry money home. It all started well: love-carrot and all that ... she is a gentle girl, once again a rude word will not say. The clever-beauties, economic - in general, a dream woman. But she has a small minus - she is all inferior in everything. Such a feeling that lives for others. I often feel that something is not so that it is uncomfortable to her, but herself does not ask for anything. You have to guess about her desires. And sometimes the girlfriends ask. And suddenly, from some moment we gave sex: then she hurts his head, then I don't want to, then some reason ... I constantly have a feeling that she seems to punish me for something in this way. I somehow confused what could be done. Act through the girlfriends - no longer helps. Please, please, your opinion, if possible, give advice ... "
Hello!
Thanks for your letter and for your courage. With pleasure I will give your comment.
The situation is really quite common. And the perpetrators here look no sense. The fact is that in our culture, women in principle are not to openly express discontent, express the offense and demonstrate aggression. These installations go, as a rule, from the parent family. Many of us since childhood is broadcasting that it is embarrassing that everything needs to be done that you need to be able to endure. What girls should be stopped and soft, be able to smooth out the angles, condescendingly relate to the lack of attention from the man. And in the most extreme cases - in general to sacrifice yourself and its interests for the sake of family. Men, in turn, perceive this as proper, again, because in our society it is so accepted. And what then remains? Emotions are, they need a way out. The most simple will be passive-aggressive behavior, which is just expressed in the fact that a person does not directly express his desires, claims, complaints. At best, this is done indirectly. And sometimes a person unconsciously "punishes" the offender. And there is no extreme here. Broken the stereotype of the interaction is difficult, but maybe. Here the most important thing will create a confidence atmosphere in relations. To try to speak in every way and in other ways to understand that from requests and criticism your relationship will not be destroyed, but on the contrary will become better. What are you ready to meet, look for some compromises. It is important to explain that you are not always correctly understanding the hints and do not always notice them at all. Try to ask what would like your half in this situation and in this, specific moment. It is important to clearly understand that you are ready to offer her. It will be useful to ask for: "Do I realize that you now want to ..." (and call what it is). This will help make communication more understandable for both. The problem of problems never led to anything good. Everything needs to be discussed. And often the first step has to do a strong half. So historically developed;)
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