"Hello!
In my life there was a very sad story. I really want to figure it out and looking for support. I recently had a wedding, but did not take place. With my fiancé, I met shortly before the wedding. We immediately fell in love with each other and literally after a couple of months he made me a sentence. I agreed without thinking. Everything was great. We thought about the holiday, a wedding trip. But a week before the wedding, I learned that he changed me ... and it was so stupid, just got drunk in a bar with friends and slept with the girl who picked up there. The wedding broke, naturally, our happiness was destroyed. I'm completely lost, I do not know how to be further. I just do not fit in my head, what is possible. He swore to me in love, and it was clear that these feelings are sincere! Now he is very regrets of his act. Asks for forgiveness. I love him, I do not want to lose, but I do not know how to live with this further. Forgive or not. I confused, I really want to hear at least some explanation of the happening, at least a little understand this situation. Inna
Hello, Inna!
I am very grateful to you for your courage and openness. I think that many readers join me.
Indeed, having met my soul mate, we somehow feel it right away. We understand that this is the very person with whom I want to go through life together, take care of each other, share all sorrow and joy. But between the acquaintance and wedding, most people prefer to wait for a while getting better to know each other, get used to, extend the candidate and bought and so on ...
Psychology allocate certain stages of family development. The famous American psychologist Jay Haley describes the following periodization:
1. Clearing period - when young people meet, but still do not live together.
2. Marriage without children - from the beginning of living together or married before the birth of the first child.
3. Expansion - family with young children: from the birth of the first child before the birth of the latter.
4. Stabilization - phase of mature marriage. This is a period of education of children, which continues until the first child leaves the house.
5. Phase in which children gradually leave the house.
6. "Empty nest" - spouses again remain alone after the departure of all children.
7. Monostadium - a phase in which someone from partners remain one after the death of another.
The transition from one stage to another is not always smooth, problems are possible. And it is quite logical, because life is changing radically, new meanings appear in relationships, finally, people acquire a new status. And it is necessary to somehow get used to it.
It seems that such a quick transition from courtship to marriage caused a very strong alarm from your chosen one. After all, marriage implies primarily the rapprochement of the distance between two people, increasing responsibility for the relationship. As it does not sound strange, but the treason on the eve of entry into marriage happens not so rarely, and sometimes even in cases where people are found for a long time. And it is usually a signal to the fact that one of the partners is not ready for even greater rapprochement.
Of course, the betrayal caused damage to your relationship. But in any case, it makes sense to try to figure it out, or resorting to the help of a specialist. After all, the relationship only began, and everything can still change very much.