When the marriage collapses, children lose the strongest. They lose not only a family, but also a sense of security, and when there is no sense of security, it seems that the whole world collapses. And no circles and toys will be able to fill this loss. Surova Statistics: Children from incomplete families are more likely to learn worse, have a higher risk of teenage pregnancy, alcohol and drug abuse, emotional and behavioral problems that often do not end even in more mature age.
Nowadays, the cult of children has evolved with an incredible force. The child put in the head of the corner and appoint main in the family and relationships. But it is important that the interests and needs of the child are more important than the interests and needs of the spouse, a big mistake! The best that parents can make for their children, to learn happily live with each other. Want to become the best parent - become the best partner for your spouse. True, it is not always possible.
In the real world, parents are bumping often often. It is even more frightened by the fact that the former spouses are not able to maintain normal friendly or, at least, parental relations among themselves. A huge number of children or completely remains without one of the parents or is forced to take new dads or mom simply because adult is more convenient to shut out the past parent from life. But what is the child in such a situation?
All major difficulties with children from past marriages (and parents from new marriages) arise due to the fact that adults cannot establish communication and arrange the right accents in relations between all interested parties: children, new and former spouses.
In our country, practice is such that children after the divorce most often remain with her mother. This means that a man who is going to build his life with a woman with a child is forced to live with a child on one territory and build communication with him. It would seem that women who marry a man with a child in this situation are easier, but in practice and they have many difficulties associated, as a rule, with jealousy to the first child and the first wife.
General children should be able to maintain stable relationships with both parents.
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No matter how far the relations of the former spouses after a divorce, common children should be able to maintain stable relationships with both parents (if parents are not deprived or are not limited to rights and do not lead an antisocial lifestyle). Regardless of who a child remained after a divorce, former partners will have to agree on each other and establish general rules of education. There should be no situations in which a child with mom's a whole day reads books and plays a piano, and with dad - a round day sits at a computer or a console.
Competitions for the right to be called the best parent, as a rule, just loosened by the psyche of the child. "Overlooking" Pope's full in the society in society, the child does not want to return to the world of restrictions and rules that Mom establishes for him. Thus, not only the parental authority of the mother, but also its new husband, is provoked by tensions in the family.
Effective education of children requires effective communication. Even if former spouses and their new partners do not like each other or disagree with each other on many issues, they should be a single team when it comes to raising children. It is important to admit: new partners of former spouses - full participants in the educational process. A big mistake will exclude them from the process of upbringing or undermine their authority, as well as demand from children immediate adoption and obedience.
New partners of parents regarding children from the past marriage is important to keep the golden middle: not to reject the child, but also do not try to lure him to your side. Relationships in this case should be based on simple and understandable values for the child: attention, care, openness, trust. Even if at the very beginning it is not easy, it is important to get a child to get used to the child. This is a new husband for Mom - a loved one and a close person, but a child is still to take and love him, and this sometimes needs a lot of time. But that this in principle was possible, the new Pope's spouse or a new spouse mom should become part of a common big family. And it is important to understand everyone: and those who are going to become a second husband or the second wife, and those who are going to enter into a new marriage after a divorce.