According to statistics, the divorce is one of the most frightening circumstances of life. People passing through a divorce face progressively with this kind of trouble as painting, the collapse of illusions, sobering and a realistic view of themselves out of relationship, the division of property and - who has - the separation of parental duties. In addition, the divergent pair passes through the condemnation of close and colleagues. The difficult stage of separation and release should be completed completely in about 3 years.
The letter below sent a woman passing through a divorce after a long marriage. It is important to say that the divorce is painful, with threats to her address and accusations that the entire catastrophe in family life is due to her. This pair has an adult child who has lived separately for many years.
So: "A friend gave me an envelope, not to mention who he is. I realized that it was from the former husband, as in the envelope there were photos of me with my child. The photo stack was big, but my photos are only 5, and the rest of the pictures is a rough dismember. I wake up in horror. "
Of course, sleep symbolizes paranoia and the fear of the daisy husband and his anger shown towards her and their child. When many years of women live under threat of life or integrity, then such fear is absolutely justified. Sleep helps Snovidice release from stress and anxiety in which she lived for many years. And in this regard, sleep is transparent for interpretation.
But still, I did not accidentally led to the example of this dream, as you can reflect on the topic of divorces and parting. CO creak, but the cultural installation changes relative to the topic of divorces. About 100-50 years ago it was a bigger shame than now. When the couple comes to the conclusion, what to do they have nothing to do, then the divorce is an opportunity to free themselves from the burdensome contract.
However, there is a tendency to demonize your former partner: "He is such and so that, beat me, did not give money, did not work." Listening to the former partners, you can only grab the head and rush to console someone who tells about it. However, do not let me mislead yourself. With all these horrors, the couple lived together for some time, sometimes it is for many years. And somehow the most white sheep, next to which a dangerous husband-monster lived, was able to cut it and even take revenge. Family relations suggest that dance is evaporated between partners. The husband beats, but on the side of the woman, comprehensive support and love of children, the spouse is punished with insulation and rejection of loved ones. Or a wife changes, but compensates for a sense of guilt with a special care and undemanding to her husband.
Therefore, I propose to look not on the horrors about the thiran's husband, but on how in the family every member of the family, and first of all his wife, settled, cope with this behavior and even themselves provoke the most vile and ugly manifestations.
Do not put yourself in error: Alcoholic wives or drug addicts need such a husband, and men need an incorrect wife or a woman dependent on him.
Moreover, if you tend to attack and criticize your partner, ask questions: why do you need it in this capacity; How exactly do you create cases of violence or threats in your relationship?
And for our dreams, these are useful questions. This will make it the divorce process more real and the relationship with the former too more sober and cleaned.
We wish her good luck! And waiting for new examples of dreams. Examples of your dreams send by mail: [email protected].
Maria Dyachkova, PSYCHOLOGIST, Family therapist and leading trainings of personal growth Training center Marika Khazin