Farewell to the dead, perhaps, one of the most difficult experiences that not a single person. Take the fact of care of someone not easy, time for this is necessary for sure more than an hour, day, weeks, month. Sometimes years leave for it.
Farewell is a continuous process, however, there are researchers and psychologists that allocate different stages of this process.
Now I will give 2 sleep two different women to illustrate how dreams help us cope with the grief.
Sleep 1: "I read about the dreams. I decided to write. I sometimes dream of tragic events are the prophetic dreams. Before the death of his brother, a dream was dreamed, as if I went to the dental doctor to treat my teeth, after the reception came out on the street and I feel that all my teeth began to fall out. I set up a fist, and in the fist turned out to be all the teeth to one, there was no blood. It became very scary. The first thought was like this: "How I will live toothless." In horror and sweat, I woke up. It was in the morning. In the evening they reported that the brother died. But when the dream was dreamed, he was still alive! Here is a riddle. "
Sleep 2: "Hello! Please tell me! The spouse died, very often dream, and he dreams with another woman. "
And now briefly about the stages. The authority in this topic number one in psychology is Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, who wrote the book "On death and dying", said that the stages of farewell to only 5.
The first is negation . We are intolerable to immediately accommodate this fact in our life - he awakens too many feelings. Therefore, in the beginning we live in shock and some dismisses, disbelief, that this is true.
Second stage is anger . When in our world, we gradually fit the idea that a close person still left, we begin to be angry. For doctors, which did not follow, relatives who did not save, on fate, universe or God. Or any other reasons that are turned on the hot hand. We are angry at those who left us in our feeling. By the way, this part of the experience is often hidden and displaced, because "about the dead do not speak badly" and other beliefs that block anger, and therefore the opportunity to fully survive the loss of loved ones.
Third stage - bargaining . We are negotiating with authority, God, for example. "If he had returned, I would then forgive everything" or "I would never have done something else if you return past days ..."
Fourth stage - depression . We are experiencing a truly whole range of feelings: anger, wines, helplessness, despair, sorrow. All that follows the loss of close.
Fifth stage - humility . We accept what happened and learn to live on.
Without all this process, the stage 5 is impossible. Attempts to speed up and "forget everything bad" lead to the opposite effect and to the transition of the grief into permanent experience.
She called the first dream dream. Indeed, many dreams distribute information that lost teeth in a dream is to the death of relatives. With blood - close, and without blood - not blood relatives. However, I do not share this approach. Sleep is an individual message. It is unlikely that there is a direct relationship between my replication images and someone else, life and death. However, I can assume that the dream is a harbinger of her shock and surprise: "How to live next? How to stay without your strength? How to lose everything I possessed? " All of these emotional processes accompany the first staging of the adoption of the grief news.
The second dream is more difficult. Rather, he is talking about negotiations. Probably, the metaphorical message is this: "If he was alive, then even with another woman I would take it."
Dreams reflect our dreams, in what stage are about the sorting events in their lives they are.
It is worth saying that dreams make important work and help our psyche take the fact of loss of a loved one. Learn your dreams, interest them, consider carefully.
Accelerate or adjust this process is unlikely to succeed. Rather, it is worth completing this article by an ancient Chinese proverb: "Do not push the river, she behaves herself."
And what dreams of you? Examples of your dreams send by mail: [email protected].
Maria Dyachkova, PSYCHOLOGIST, Family therapist and leading trainings of personal growth Training center Marika Khazin