Many of us fell into a situation where friends are not at all those people who wanted to see next. Experts call such communication toxic. And the Candidate of Psychological Sciences, the NLP specialist Marianna Abavitova tells how to understand that there is not the same Coven.
Friendship is a comfortable exchange of views, general views on life, joint leisure, during which everyone gets positive emotions. Friendship exists not in order to suffer in its framework. And if you experience discomfort with a person with a person, which is essentially the first alarming bell, test yourself to all other items. And if everything matches, think about: Do you need such friendship?
How to calculate toxic relationships
From your acquaintances can regularly receive requests to borrow money, give to displacing clothes, to organize something, help write a message second half. And all these requests are not a one-time character - a person is constantly necessary for you. You must understand: such a friendship is like a game in the same gate, where you simply use. Use your intelligence, wardrobe, wallet, opportunities, time and, most importantly, your energy.
Marianna Abavitova
If, when communicating, most conversations are devoted to your friend, then this is also one of the symptoms of toxic relations. Try to track, as a friend's eyes react to your stories: they are burning in a concerned interlocutor, he listens carefully. If you have noticed that during the stories about you from a friend, the look is extinct, scattered, wandering, it means that you are not interested in your problems, it is important for him to convey to you about yourself, love. Therefore, your communication is not friendship, rather than you are used as a "vest" or "free ears."
There are people with whom constantly something happens. Gained a bath - poured neighbors; turned on gas - burned the kitchen; She walked down the street - Soselka fell, got a concussion of the brain. They never can decide anything or do, so they simply need pativity. However, everything is not so terrible. If such a person suddenly stop helping and not engaged in his life for a day, he shows wonders of resourcefulness and becomes quite a mature person. It is hardly possible to consider the friendship to the relationship where you are used as a nurse.
Girls often need a girlfriend for a hike to some event. But a pretty girlfriend for such purposes is usually not suitable because there is no competition. So the girlfriend is selected, which becomes a kind of appendage to the beauty. It seems to be friends with her, but in fact such relationships do not carry any advantages.
Fuck a friend-gossip. He gives pleasure to betray the publicity what should be silent. In the gossip, there is always the moment of ridicuing and bringing the merits of the merits of the person, about which they bloom, while the gossip itself elevates itself: he does not have such problems. Therefore, know: a man who dissolves gossip about you clearly does not apply to you in a friendly.