Why some girls can not find a partner? Even seemingly beautiful, smart and successful? Calm-psychotherapist, coach for the purpose of the purpose of Ilya Bearetsev and the RPT-therapist, the female development coach Irina Shekunov voiced the male and female point of view on this problem and are divided by examples from their practice.
Buy this woman! Buy this man!
We live in time when we are constantly trying to sell something. It concerns both things and images. Through the series, magazines, Instagram, social networks in our brain are poured tons of information that we do not have time to recycle. She goes to the subconscious, turning into the installation. "The guy with money is what you need," "the girl forced in the hall - marry." Everybody understands the brain that a rich guy is a plus, a sports girl who will give birth to healthy offspring, is an indisputable plus. Note until there is no problem.
"I'm not going to images! I choose people like I feel! "
You're right. Through the social network, do not pass the joy of meeting with a person with whom I want intimacy. Support, praise, help, feeling features, love, recognition - at least something from this list is necessary to everyone.
"Have you forgotten about it?"
Sure! The woman should cook food, and the male male must mine. Rich dinner must be crowned with unbelled sex. Both should be playing sports, and in general, follow yourself. Oh yeah, and the sense of humor do not forget!
"Yeah, not bad! And what are the trick? "
The catch is that we choose the partner often either with a brain or feelings or body. But not everyone together. After all, everyone has a favorite "place", which he chooses. As in the song of Leningrad: "She has such a g. And, in general, I love her, "the classic body choices. "And I forgive me, I forgive him again, again, again. Oh, I am with you ... "- here the main thing is feeling, the brain is participating only in the account before 5." This, like Putin, so as not to drink, did not beat, respected, did not convince, "this is a sober calculation of the head.
So, the problem is
Problems begin when the center that we choose a partner, "was pleased with", and the rest are included. "Every day disappears on our work, and I do not spend time with me," the feelings turned on. "We are fine in Ladim, a complete understanding, but something is wrong in bed, and it is not very preparing," the body turned on, turned on. Examples are infinite set.
The strongest unions - when satisfied at least 2 center. But even then there is a feeling that something is missing.
Which exit?
Develop an understanding of itself and its impulses when choosing a partner. Give yourself time to awareness, starting new relationships. If possible, move away from the usual partner choice strategy. You can continue to try and spend time until it becomes an obvious ideal option you need for life. For those who are tired of competing on the same rake, or just want to speed up the process of awareness and quickly become happy, we have developed a 2-day intensive "partner for life" - this is a faster way to understand yourself, your impulses, ideal partner , Completion of past relationships.