Often parents do not understand what is programming a child for the loss of a loser. After all, it seems to them that the main thing in this life is to become a good person. And reality says on the contrary: knock out in people and survive the strongest. And it is not necessary that a strong person will hurt dogs, bring his wife to a nervous breakdown and screaming on subordinates - this is, just, the lot of weak people. It is a pity that nervousness is not the only thing that is transmitted from the parents. The top 5 adopted from the senior qualities, which will prevent the child to settle in life.
"Sitty quietly and do not lead to"
Since childhood, we are taught to lift your hand, shake her a couple of minutes, while the teacher chooses the answer, and only then express his opinion. So from the small years, the child tends to take the initiative only on someone's pointer. While it does not build it for 10-15 minutes to participate in the creative scene or do not give up the compliments from the head to the legs, he will not decide to expose his work on a common court. Becoming an adult, he continues the line from childhood - a long word will not tell the boss, will not offer a new promising project and never tell the parents that instead of a boring office, I would like to perform on a big scene with a rock guitar. Remember: Never criticize the child for the opinion expressed, let him disagree everything around. Not always adults are right - often children are wiser than us, drove into the social framework. Be main support and babe support, whatever happens.
need to do what you really want
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"You are lucky, he has rich parents ..."
Poverty is a definitely mental installation. If you still believe that the children from rich families are lubricated by the exam, in the top universities and prestigious companies take only the cloth and the "normal person" passage there - urgently open the Internet. You will be surprised how many millionaires happened from ordinary families. Charisma, hard work, flexible mind and readiness for risk - this is what distinguishes these people. And your child is no worse than them: Support him in the desire to learn, providing a comfortable emotional situation in the house.
"Well, you look at her!"
Criticizing people in the modern world - Movetona. A more healthy position is to accept that others differ from you and are not obliged to live according to your moral rules. Discussion of someone else's clothing, behavior in public, a way to manage business and personal life - all these people are engaged from the straight. In families, where it is accepted to work a lot and understand what ways a worthwhile result is achieved, and thoughts will not arise to insult someone who has achieved something.
"Seven times measure cut once"
How many times have you told the baby, what does he need to be careful - more than a thousand? Your child has brains and instinct of self-preservation given to him by nature. Fearing, no matter how he could not get abrasion or did not get dirty, you lay the loser subconscious in it. No successful project started from the first attempt - the path of any outstanding person resembles a broken line, and not rapidly ascending upwards. He must risk and mistaken to fill his cones and learn from his mistakes - do not take this invaluable experience.
be good for everyone - it's not cool
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"Now you're a good boy!"
Remove the word "good" against the child from the lexicon. It is impossible to be good for everyone: in the future it will no longer be offended by people. The girl will be upset due to the fact that he will decide to part with it, the applicants for the same position will be angry that they chose it, but not their - these examples of the infinite number. And you think that for these people your child will be a good person? Of course not. So why put a model of behavior from an early corruptary, where his life will be built around in order not to offend others. Let him better think how he wants to live, what feelings he is experiencing at every moment and do they correspond to the fact that he actually would like to feel. Caring for yourself is not egoism, but a necessary condition for life.
Which of these mistakes did you do? What would add a list? Write your opinion in the comments, even if you disagree with the author.