Where does the uncertainty come from?
There are at least three reasons that interfere with people develop:
- identifying the person with others.
Man HyperSocial Being and since childhood adopt a model of parents' behavior, including copies and uncertainty.
- learned helplessness.
A child who receives only a negative or positive feedback from his parents, over time, understands that nothing depends on his action. This situation generates low self-esteem, uncertainty and helplessness.
- complex of inferiority.
The hypertrophied sense of its own weakness and insolvency is closely connected with low self-esteem, and as a result, faith is lost in its own strength.
These three concepts automatically start the programmed template behavior when meeting with triggers.
Fear of responsibility
Such a feeling is hand in hand with a "impostor syndrome". A person is afraid to show the initiative and take some duties, because he considers himself not good or competent. In communicating with the surrounding is afraid to be, express an opinion, defend the borders. It shifts its responsibility on others and takes a passive position when making decisions.
Undetyability
Due to doubt in disinterested love from other people, a person is very difficult to say "no". He is even ready to endure a dismissive attitude. Most of all is afraid to get a negative assessment and enjoy bad, so it is always rushing at the first call of a friend to the other end of the city. And here the main engine is not a desire to help, namely the inability to refuse.
Arrogance
It is impossible to say 100% that shyness and the uninforcement is always a sign of insecurity. It happens that just an arrogant behavior and habit of self-affirmation for someone else's account gives such a person. He seriously perceives criticism, loss. If it feels that someone wants to substitute his greatness, it begins to behave rather aggressive in response.
The desire to prove its consistency to the whole world
A person is constantly trying to self-improve to prove to others what he is good. It always remains dissatisfied with his appearance, success, talents. From this self-esteem becomes even lower, and the uncertainty is even stronger.
Self-timber
One can only imagine how hard it is impocitation to take defeats. Every mistake, they scroll into the head all over and over again, scolding themselves for their actions.
Jealousy
The person is always in fear of losing anything, does not feel the soil under his feet. This is not only about jealousy in relation to the opposite sex. It may be a girlfriend, pet, head at work.
Compare yourself with others
Uncertain people love to compare their external data, financial situation, intelligence and abilities with others. And the conclusion never turns out to be in their favor. Such a habit only focuses even more installation "I am nothing" and the root cuts the faith in myself.
Julia Terentieva - Human Potential Expert, Astropsychologist, Author of a Unique Thoughtful Crack Course
Photo: instagram.com/yulia__terenteva/
5 ways to neutralize patterned behavior
1. Do not resort to tips from the side, and attempt to independently make a decision.
Constantly relying on other people's advice, you automatically refuse to get a new invaluable experience. Even if after your choice, get a negative result, then there is nothing wrong with that. But get out of the child's position and begin to act.
2. Compare yourself only with you yesterday.
Evaluate other people's successes with their obviously losing position. You will never see the picture entirely to weigh everything objectively. Maybe the person with whom you compare yourself, go out perfectly at work, but sends a family sphere. All people are very different and everyone is beautiful in their own way.
3. Remember the situation when you were sure.
Mentally come back at the time where you showed courage. Connect with you in the process of visualization and revitalize these sensations in muscular memory. Try to do this exercise more often.
4. Locate the symbol at the form of which you will feel confident.
For example, perfume, keychain, hot tub, straight posture. Let you have a certain mascot, which will give courage.
5. Start take responsibility in trifles.
For some people, even the most common domestic duties cause stress. If you do not know how to pay utility bills and for you it does someone else, then you should learn. Your self-esteem will begin to grow gradually.
If you want to help you have a close person to become more confident in yourself, then notice his most insignificant achievements, often praise. Try to find the value of your friend, partner for you, so you will strengthen its strengths and emphasize the dignity.
Half the success of victory over uncertainty in itself depends on the awareness of the root causes and the skill to track patterned behavior. Explore your habits with this article and start working on them.