Mingazova Elmira Nurislamna - Professor, Doctor of Medical Sciences, Chief Specialist in Hygiene Children and Adolescents of the Ministry of Health of the Republic of Tajikistan. Member of the Presidium of the Russian Society School and University Medicine.
One of the activities of Elmira Nurislamna is a meeting with girls - teenagers from orphanages, in which they can ask a variety of and important questions to the doctor of medical sciences.
- Elmira Nurislamna, what the most intimate questions ask you girls at that age?
Questions are very different, but one, sounded constantly: "At what age do you have to lose your virginity?". It seems to us this question is ridiculous, and for them this is theme is the most acute. I say to every girl: "What you will become older, the more you will warm up in life, so do not rush. Learn to say confidently "no". What your actions will be meaningful, the greater the chances that you will be happier. Now, when you are small and not intended, you as a little girl can simply use. Let's agree with you, the more "no", the more your value. And when you become eighteen - twenty years, you will stand on your feet, you will think more in life, then you will be easier to make a choice. "
It is very scary that these girls do not deceive, because now they are gullible, and with them you can do anything. Then they lose confidence in people, become victims, begin to feel abandoned, not needed, begin to drink. Now it is necessary to invest in their heads to invest the concept of their unique value so that they do not rush to all in a row learned to say "no" and thought about the relationships that are transformed into the family.
-You teach girls to say "no", and wait for the "StarRightened Marriage", and today there is a "trial marriage" theory, and many psychologists recommend first to live, without moving married to understand your person. What do you think it is right?
- Unfortunately, it is fake and not characteristic of our country theory. In our multinational country, despite the different nationalities and customs, always imaginary ages between a man and a woman, was the first thing to wedding and marriage. "StarRightened" as you say marriage, teaches a woman patience, and trial marriages do not teach it.
We are talking to girls if you have already married and with you your husband and if you found a person with whom I decided to go through life, you need to abide by the laws that exist for centuries. It is necessary that every girl has on the spiritual level waiting for the wedding rite.
I believe that the rite of wedding needs necessarily, because it is responsibility, and civil position and if you want a decision in heaven. If the marriage is still registered, it allows a person to treat the family, to the marital life, consciously. And when a trial marriage, it is roughly talking, "Today we will play in one sandbox, and tomorrow we are spawned and go to play another sandbox." It is not right.
As a specialist, I understand that people may not fit biologically, but if there is a high spiritual connection between a man and a woman - this problem can be solved. And then now there is so high level of medicine that even biological problems if they are not associated with typical pathology or vices are solved.
The dissolution of the marriage can be at the level of complete incompatibility, but try the cohabitation of many times for a woman is detrimental, because her psyche breaks. When it adapts to one man, to another, to the third, to the fourth, it loses the right rod position. A woman should be devoted to one spouse, it is laid in her natural program.
- It turns out that it is just a banal manipulation from men?
- Sure. This is the manipulation of men and manipulation by business, because a sexually active woman is interesting to everyone, it becomes a consumer of hormonal contraception, and various farm services. A chaste girl will not run through various diagnostic centers, something to determine, correct, adjust. It is less interesting, so the business is configured to the girls become sexually active, and the earlier, the better. Pay attention, now on television is actively advertising tampons for virgins. I believe that this is unofficing, it is not covered, cynical business. Why should we kale teenagers? I have a clear opinion not only by specialists - gynecologists, but it cannot be done in religiously - ethical considerations. Again, it causes early sexuality in children.
- Thoughts arise that this whose is a clearly developed program?
- Certainly. Look at what, for example, says Astakhov, he says that it is necessary to ban the program that imposes early sexual education in schools, and to introduce an item that was before: "Ethics and the psychology of family life."
And now to a greater extent in schools in schools teach a girl how to be protected from unwanted pregnancy. In Europe and in America, they have long refused such programs, because it is proved that the more we talk about sexual education, the more leads to the sexualization of children and adolescents.
Believe me, this is a multicomponent topic as soon as one is addressed, different layers wake up, it is quite necessary to wake up ahead of time. And I would really like to be he heard, the call was born not from scratch, this man knows what he says.
If we do not cope now, we have a demographic situation slowly, but steadily decline, and we have in a deplorable state. I also like Astakhov, against imposing sexual education in schools. Most girls at 15 - 16 years old are very modest. They do not think at all about sex life.
At first, during the conversation on this topic, they blush, but then they think: "Why am I so not modern, backward, maybe something is wrong with me?". And here you can manipulate the girl as you like and impose anything.
- And how girls are solved on such personal questions at all?
- When I work with the group, I do not try to affect personal topics, I give the girls my contacts and then we can discuss without witnesses, and not embarrassed. Most often she asks for help. I give practical recommendations, starting with physiology. And in general classes, I tell what kind of breast cancer, what kind of prevention should be. For example, girls at this age do not know that the chest must be protected from injuries, it is impossible to sunbathe and so on. They receive information that is certainly given a native mother. In this case, the well-known model of Oksana Fedorov is very helpful, on his example of a successful woman and a happy mother, it becomes literally ideal for many teenagers. Girls thanks to such events at an early age understand that beauty and health is the most valuable thing that there is a woman.
- It suggests that the conclusion is that at meetings you raise the self-esteem of girls from orphanages? And she is generally low?
- It is not what is low, it is underestimated. They are physically and informationally behind, they are afraid to ask many things. It is sometimes necessary to repeat several times the same thing, I do not want to say that they are developing differently, but they need more care, more attention, with them you need to talk not from the case to the case, and systemically.
- These girls threw mothers in early childhood, for various reasons to abandon them in the hospital. And how do girls have, the chances of growing, and not repeat the fate of your mother?
- You know, unfortunately, statistics says that women who have passed children's house do not always fully realize themselves in life. This is not a secret and I will be a Hangeh, if I say that they all became in the future successful women. But now our task, at these meetings, configure them to this success, give them the right installations. Success is not to become a model with a crown on the head and admire all men around. Women's happiness in another when you have a normal, stable family, a good husband, a healthy child.
It is necessary to say that the happiness of a woman is a thin matter and she is very fragile. It is necessary to say that for the sake of his dreams will have to work hard, standing daily model of behavior. Create an image of a happy family, seemed simple words, and there is a lot of work behind it.