Ndezvipi vezera rake kune mumwe achiri kuyaruka?
Vezera Rokuyaruka igirazi iro rakafanana rinoratidzwa navo uye misiyano inoonekwa; iyo bhenji, iyo yaanosvetuka nayo tsika yayo; Chitatu, icho chinonyanya kukosha kwaari, maari kuda kugamuchirwa, apo zviroto zvekunzwisiswa uye nekutya kurambwa.
American Psychologists vakabata muyedzo wekuda kuziva. Vakasarudza kumisikidza kuti nguva yekuyaruka iri kuyaruka inopedzerwa nevezera riine nevabereki vavo. Mumwe nemumwe anotora chikamu akapihwa pager kune iyo mibvunzo kubva kune vaongorori yakauya masikati. Kune yega yega meseji, vechidiki vaifanira kupindura nekukasira, kupi nevari. Izvo zvakazoitika kuti chikamu chikuru chenguva (50%), vechikoro vakasarudzika vakaitwa neshamwari uye vaunodzidza navo uye chete 30% yenguva chete yakapihwa ivo pachavo.
Mukufamba kweChitatu, achiri kuyaruka anodhonza simba kuti akurire shanduko mazviri, uye ari kutsvaga mabhenji etsiva nekuda kwemaitiro avo. Anogara achifudza zviito zvake nenyaya yekuti vamwe vakamumirira, vachiedza kuunza mafungiro avo, manzwiro, zviito zvinoenderana nemusangano weshamwari. Kupfuura kumwe kuyaruka, hakuchingozviona chete, anoenderera mberi. Ivo pachavo, vachidzidzisa, hukama nevadzidzisi nevabereki vanoenda kumashure. Naizvozvo, kutsamwa kwepamutemo uye kuratidzira kunoita kuti amai nababa, idzo PO Ho pindura nezve dzimwe shamwari.
Nhasi, zvakandiomera nhasi, zvakaoma kuyeuka izvo kambani yauchachiri kuyaruka kamwe chete nekuda kwavo uye hunyanzvi hwakakosha hwatakatenga. Semuenzaniso, mu psychology kune pfungwa yakadai - "chiitiko chezita remutemo", kana munhu achiziva kodzero yeimwe kambani yekuisa mutoro wekubudirira kana kutadza kwebhizinesi rakabatana. Maitiro ekuita pasina hunyanzvi uhu mune chero munhu mukuru timu mune ramangwana? Semuenzaniso, kana boka racho rakanga risingaori zvakanyanya, kutadza kunozivikanwa kune mumwe munhu wega, uye kana paine kubatana mukati maro, ipapo mumwe nemumwe anotora chikamu anobatanidzwa mukutadza kana kubudirira kuti zvese zvawanikwa.
Nemhando yeushamwari nevezera, vabereki vanogona kunzwisisa kuti chii chaizvo chinonzi mwana kubva pakukurukurirana uye haudi rubatsiro rwekurukurirano. Sei uye nezvei kuti achiri kuyaruka anoyeuka kune avo vangasakonzera kutenderwa kwevakuru? Nei zvichinakidza kwaari uye chii chinogona kudzorera chishuvo chakadaro?
Vhara mabhuku "mweya wemwana wako ari kuyaruka. Antistress Nhungamiro yevabereki »
Tiri sei shamwari?
Hushamwari pakati pevaridzi hunoitika pazvikonzero zvina.
Kana achiri kuyaruka anokoshesa simba, kutsungirira, kusanyengera, kuchatanga kubatanidza nevarume vane hunhu uhu. Rudzi urwu rweushamwari "pasi-kumusoro" - zvichibva pane zvinyoronyoro uye chikamu chekutumira. Mumwe achiri kuyaruka anotsvaga kuve akafanana nevamwe, kuyedza kutevedzera kwakasimba - mune zvipfeko, nzira yekubatirira, kutaura. Uyezve hushamwari hwakadaro - mwana akaramba achikura nenzira imwecheteyo sevanofarira.
Iyo yechipiri sarudzo yehukama hushamwari mubatanidzwa nevaya vanokoshesa hunhu hwauinahwo. Iye achiri kuyaruka anonzwa achidiwa, anozviona ari munhu chaiye, nekuti mune kambani inokosheswa nezivo uye hunyanzvi (semuenzaniso, hunyanzvi kutamba nhabvu kana kukurumidza kunzwisisa sarudzo dzeGadget itsva). Ushamwari hwakadaro hunokura hunyanzvi uye rairo, uye zvakare anodzidzisa kuti anzwe kuvimba. Rudzi urwu rweushamwari "kuwedzerwa kubva kumusoro kusvika pasi" - Inosanganisira kuburikidza nedunhu remumwe munhu, uyo anoteerana mitemo kana vamwe vachiteerera.
Shanduro yechitatu yeushamwari hwekuyaruka hwakaringana, hunoramba hwakakosha kwemakore mazhinji. Semuenzaniso, vana makumi manomwe vanofarira nezve masvomhu vanokwanisawo zvakafanana, mabasa anogadziriswa zvakanaka uye miedzo iri kuedza kuzadzisa mabasa akaomeserwa. Panguva imwechete ivo vanofarira kutaurirana kunze kwekirasi uye kunze kwezvidzidzo. Hushamwari hwakadaro hunotora chimiro chemutambo kana kurwa, chinova chinangwa chemukati, kunyangwe chokwadi chekuti hukama hwakavakirwa pamapato.
Pane mhando yechina kana achiri kuyaruka achitaurirana, kutonga kana kuzviisa pasi kune mumwe, saka mumwe. Iko kusagadzikana kwemukati kwevana vakadaro kunoita kusagadzikana uye hushamwari hwavo. Rudzi urwu rwehukama runofanira kupa rolls uye kukonzera kusawirirana, uye zvakanyanya mukana wekuti munguva pfupi inotevera, achiri kuyaruka achaterera akasimba muboka iri. Maiwe, mhando yakadaro yeushamwari ndiyo yakakanganiswa, inotakura mhirizhonga yeHooliganism, inosimbisa, hutsinye.
Kana mwana asina kuunganidza hukama nevezera uye hapana shamwari, anodiwa nerubatsiro rwevabereki uye vepfungwa kuti vanzwisise dambudziko ripi rakabatana nechiratidzo ichi chekusanzwisisa. Mukuwedzera, kana, kuwedzera kuchikoro uye zviitiko zvepamba, mwana haazive kuti wozviita kupi kuzviitira kuchikoro, kana achinzwa kuchikoro, anogona kupinda mune imwe kambani ine mukurumbira.
Ndinoyeuka nyaya iyo yakaitika chaizvo makore mashoma apfuura. Akanyarara uye ane mwero wechinomwe Natasha, uyo akakura mumhuri yakabudirira kwazvo pakuonekwa, yakanga isina musikana zvachose. Akadzidza zvisina kufanira, aitya hanya naye. Kukoka kwemudzidzisi kuti apindure pabhodhi kwakamutya. Musikana uyu aigara achinzwa kutaura kwakapinza kukero yake kubva kumudzidzisi wechiRungu, saka haana kuda chinhu ichi, sevamwe vaive nesimba kuti zviite. Mhuri yacho haina kunetseka zvakanyanya nezvekuvhara kwemwanasikana uye misodzi yayo nguva dzose. Chero zvazvingaitika, vabereki vakaramba vasina hanya. Pane imwe nguva, muvakidzani ane rudo akakokwa Natasha kuti ashanyire, uko kushamwaridzana kwevachiri kuyaruka. Vakataura nezvupenyu, nezverudo, nezvehukama. Zvaifadza, uye muenzi mutsva akaita nekutarisa. Uyezve, akakokwa kuzosangana zvakare. Saka Natasha akava akajaira kambani iyi. Watova nemwedzi miviri, shanduko dzaive pachena: kudzikama uye kuvimba, akatotanga kuverenga mabhuku muChirungu. Akagamuchira mabhuku aya kubva kune vaunozivana navo. Pakati pavo, akasangana nemurume, rudo rwake. Zvese zvakanaka dai zvisiri izvo kuti kambani nyowani yaive sekekiti yeMunitov. Nenguva isipi Natasha akasiya imba, akagara munharaunda uye akaruka nevabereki vake avo vakatora zvinhu zvinokosha uye nekuchengetedza mari. Semutsvaira pachena, zvakatanga kuitumira nemharidzo dzedzidziso dzemwedzi munyika dzakasiyana. Akataura kuti ave nevabereki vake uye akarega kuvatsigira navo.
Izvo zvinobatsira kudzidzisa mwana achiri kuyaruka kuti aite muhukama nevanhu vaitarisira, achiyeuchidza nechirongwa cheRussia "kanomwe rufu, imwe mari." Kutanga, funga, tarisa kubva kumativi akasiyana, kurema, sarudza nzira uye chete ita chiito. Kuvimba neyekuongororwa, maonero uye zvitendero zvakaunzwa mune izvo zvavari ndezve, dzimwe nguva zvinoumba kuyaruka kuti vagadzirire mafungiro avo, uye kwete kudzivirira zvavanotenda uye kukosha kwavo.
Tinofungidzira sei kunaka kweushamwari hwemwana? Zvinozoitika, zvakapusa. Inonyatsobatsira inogona kunzi chete hukama uhu umo ivo vakomana vakagadzikana nemumwe; Ivo vanonzwa chivimbo, usamboyambuka miganhu yenjodzi ine musoro, remekedza mitemo inotorwa munharaunda, chengetedza hukama uye kutaurirana nevabereki, usaumba mhosva kana kuti zvakavanzika. Rakashata roll kubva pane zvakajairwa zvinofanirwa kufunganya.
Iko kusaziva kwehushamwari hwekuyaruka hwusanganisira kwete chete mukuchinja zviremera. Muhukama pakati pevachiri kuyaruka pane nguva dzose nzvimbo yekuvanda, kunyarara, kubvuma, moyo murefu uye rugare rwepfungwa - "vese vari hafu, vese mune zvekunamata." Naizvozvo, kazhinji vabereki vanonzwa kuti: "Ndinogona kutaura zviri nyore nezve zvese nezve zvese," Ini ndinogara ndichivimba neshamwari. Ndinoziva zvaanofunga, kunyangwe iye akanyarara. " Huru hushamwari hwepedyo uye hwakasimba, iyo nyaya dzakawanda dzinotaura kuti vechidiki vachikukurukura nemumwe, vasingafarire ruzivo uye maonero evabereki.
Nyanzvi dzepfungwa dzakatarira kuti makumi maviri muzana evachiri kuyaruka vanofarira kusurukirwa. Zvakajairika kana mwana achinge afarira nezvebasa: kudhirowa, mimhanzi, kunyora, - izvo, zviitiko zvakadaro zvinoda kusangana. Kusurukirwa kunoshanduka kuita dambudziko uye kunounza zviitiko zvakasimba paunenge uchimanikidzwa kana achiri kuyaruka haana kugamuchira kambani yaakasarudza (ona chitsauko "kusurukirwa" kusurukirwa ". Vazhinji vavayaruka - 80% - tsvaga kuti uwane munhu ane pfungwa dzakafanana, akati wandei (tinya) kana kunyange vazhinji (kambani). Kazhinji vanokweverwa kune avo vari padyo navo nekuvambwa, zvido, zvine mukurumbira wakafanana kana maitiro. Munhu mukuru anova achiri kuyaruka, akapamhama kuchave nedenderedzwa shamwari dzake, uye vakomana vevakomana kana vakadzi vanozobatanidzwa zvishoma nezvishoma mariri.
Mukomana + musikana
Kufarira muvhu repakati kunoonekwa muvana kureba pamberi pekuyaruka. Isu tinoona chishuwo chekuchengeta kukwezva kwako kwatove pakati pevadzidzi vadiki; Muchikoro chesekondari, vayaruka vanofarira kuti ndiani anofarira uye nei, uye kupururudza kunotanga. Kuona shanduko yakatanga kune vezera rinotarisana, achiri kuyaruka anovarongedza pachawo. Hushamwari pakati pevachiri kuyaruka hwepabonde dzakasiyana siyana dzinova chikoro chaicho chekudzidza chaiwo. Uye apa iwe unofanirwa kutaura nezverudzi rweruzivo rwemazuva emisi yemazuva ano: Ivo vanodzidza kudzidza kuswededzwa kwevakomana kana kuti vataure naye, vachiedza kunzwisisa nzira dzakasiyana dzekunzwisisa kuti ndedzipi dzadzo dzinobatsira, uye zvinotungamira kusvika pakubuda kwezvinetso zvisina basa; Kuyedza nechimiro chavo ("Ivo vanondiona mukambani nemudzidzi akanaka kana murume akaora mwoyo"); Dzidza kuve uine chokwadi uye chechokwadi; Kuedza kuitisa mufananidzo wemurume kana mukadzi wenguva yemberi. Zvichida ikozvino zvakakodzera kutaura nevachiri kuyaruka nezvekuti zviyero zvehunhu hwevakomana nevasikana zvachinja sei nhasi. Kana pakutanga vasikana vakarongedzwa nebasa rekuchinja, zvinyoro-nyoro, zvinokomberedza, zvino vadanwa zvebasa, vazvimiriri uye vanomutakura zvinogumbura, uye vakomana vanopihwa basa rekuremekedza kwazvo reChirongwa chechipiri. Kazhinji kwaiwanzoitika mamiriro ezvinhu nhasi, apo kutanga kwehukama hwepedyo kumutsa vasikana vanonzwikwa pese pese kusimbiswa pamakore maviri apfuura kupfuura majaya. Nenzira, sezvidzidzo zvakaratidza, vechidiki vachiri kuyaruka-vechidiki vari vechidiki vasingadi kupinda muhukama hwepedyo - pane zvishoma nekuti pane zvakawanda zvemhedzisiro yavo.