Ukukhashelwa okuvela kumuntu akuwona kuphela ukuvukela komzimba. Kuluhlu olungezansi, kunezinhlobo ezahlukahlukene zezinkinga ebudlelwaneni bamadoda nabesifazane, kepha bonke bangachazwa ngegama elilodwa - bakhaphele. Uma amaphuzu owodwa noma ngaphezulu ohlwini afanelekile encazelweni yezinkinga ebudlelwaneni bakho, khona-ke isixazululo esihle kakhulu sizokhuluma kakhulu nomlingani. Uhlu olungaba yi-Psychologist Galina Yanko.
I-Galina Yanko
Ubungani phakathi kwezitezi
Ubudlelwano be-Platonic, obubizwa ngokuthi ubungani, bungaba nezikhathi ezimnandi kakhulu. Ukuxhumana kuyinto evamile ngokuphelele, kepha uphi umphetho uvunyelwe? Izingxoxo zasebusuku, amakamelo okuxoxa, noma ngabe abukho ubuhlobo obuseduze phakathi kwabangane futhi abahlanganyeli embhedeni, umngani nentombi bangabelana ngezimfihlo zomndeni, baxoxe ngezenzo zakho. Lapho ehlanganyela izimfihlo ezinama-comrades - zihlelekile, kepha umbuzo ophilile ungazalwa ekhanda lakho: "Kungani omunye umfazi kufanele azise izikhathi ezisondelene nendoda yami?" Ubudlelwano obunobungane akufanele buyethuse, kepha ukudalulwa kwemininingwane yomuntu siqu nokunakwa kakhulu kowesifazane womunye umuntu kuwe kuyinto engemnandi.
Amanga
Amanga ayakwazi ukubhubhisa noma ibuphi ubuhlobo. Izimfihlo, ukungahambelani, ngisho namanga ukuze asindiswe - konke lokhu kubhubhisa ubudlelwano obuqotho phakathi kwabantu. Ubuqili - Yini okufanele ibe khona phakathi kwabantu, uthando oluhlanganisiwe noma ubungani. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, amanga azoba yiqiniso, noma ngabe lokhu kungenzeki, ubungozi bukhulu kakhulu. Lapho yonke imfihlo izoba umhlathi, umlingani okhohlisayo uzoba nobuhlungu, abe yisisulu sokukhashelwa. Uma uqaphela ukuthi le ndoda ithatheke amanga angapheli, mhlawumbe idinga usizo lwakho nokusekelwa, futhi ngamanga waphakade, ukulimala kwezingane, ukuntuleka kokunakwa njalo. Mhlawumbe eseyingane, kwadingeka enze ubuqiniso.
Amanga ayakwazi ukubhubhisa noma ibuphi ubuhlobo
Photo: Unsplisish.com.
Ubungani bekhawunta
Khumbula lapho sisekuncane, ezinye izingane zihlangene emhlanganweni futhi zaqala ukuba abangane ngazo. Ngakho-ke umuntu ongakwazi ukuvumelana nomlingani noma umane abonise ukuqonda okuphelele ngeNhlonipho YamaBanal, kuqala ukubheka ukwesekwa phakathi kwabanye. Indoda ingaqala ukufuna abantu abanomqondo ofanayo phakathi komndeni wakhe nabangane. Kwenzeka ukuthi ikhule ihlasela njalo, futhi abagadli bathela umhlatshelo ngenxa yezicelo zamalitha, kanye nesisulu, okwamanje, akukho ndawo yokufuna ukusekelwa. Ngalezo zikhathi ezinjalo, kuyadingeka ukuzivikela, futhi ucabangele uhlaka olungaphansi, uma owesilisa ewela wena nomunye wamalungu omndeni wakhe. Indoda esondelene, ikakhulukazi indoda, kufanele ikunikeze ukwesekwa, kufanele uzizwe uphephile futhi uze kuye, ungene esimweni esicindezelayo. Ngoba lokho kuziphatha kwendoda kubonakale ngokwabo, futhi, isibonelo esikhulu sizoba izingane ezincane nentsha evame ukutshela abazali ngokuziphatha okumpofu kwabangane kanye nalabo ofunda nabo ukuba babukeke kangcono emehlweni abo nakaba ngubaba.
Ukukhohlisa nomndeni, abangane nemali
Nganoma iyiphi indlela, kukhona ukukhohlisa kokunye okubonakalayo noma okunye okubonakalayo, kunzima impela ukukwenza ngaphandle kwawo. Akukubi njalo uma abantu bengazami ukukhohlisa izinto ezinkulu lapho ukukhohlisa kuphenduka ngokona. Imibhangqwana eshadile kanye nabalingani abasesikhathini eside, ubudlelwane obusondelene buvame ukutholana engxabanweni ngenhloso. Ukusola okungokomzwelo ngemuva nangesikhathi sengxabano akuvami ukuletha umuzwa wokwaneliseka nabo bobabili abahlanganyeli bayo, yize kwenzeka ngaphandle kwaphezulu. Imvamisa lokhu kungumbhalo lapho owesifazane eqala ukukhala, aqoqe izinto, noma indoda ekhala futhi eshiya - zonke lezi zenzo zisebenzisa amandla. Ukukhashelwa kungabhekwa njengokuphambanisa okunesihluku. Isibonelo, ngokwenqaba ukulalela intando yakhe, indoda isebenzisa abangane noma umndeni njengengcindezelo yengcindezelo. Kukhona izinto, nakanjani, ngeke zisetshenziswe ngokumelene nomunye.
Inani elikhulu lezimfihlo
Kwenzeka ukuthi uzofunda izindaba ezithile ezibalulekile, ngandlela thile ahambisana nendoda yakhe, futhi ubuze umbuzo wokuthi kungani engakutshelanga lutho ngakho? Izimfihlo zilungile, zinawo wonke umuntu. Lokho okutshela intombi, awusoze wamtshela umyeni wakhe noma insizwa yakhe. Kunomehluko phakathi kokungabaza ukuvula (Hlobo luni lothando esingakhuluma ngalo?) Kanye nokuncishiswa okujwayelekile kwemininingwane etholakalayo. Khumbula okuthunyelwe kokuthembela njengesisekelo sokuvumelana emndenini.