Kule mihla, imbono kunye notywala "yefreyiti" yomntwana "iyakhula ngakumbi (isiNgesi. Umntwana ongenakumbi kubantwana). Kutheni le nto aba bantu bengazi ukuba babe ngabazali?
Ingabonakala, mhlawumbi, kodwa ayifuni-ilungelo labo, kwaye umxholo wophando abukho apha. Kodwa yedwa siza kubashiya kuphela abo bangenasidingo salo lonke inyathelo lokuxoxa ngesi sigqibo kwaye bagculelwe ngokuqatha ngesikhundla sabo.
Ngokwaneleyo, ubuntwana, kwiimeko ezininzi, hayi abakhululekanga kubantwana. Abantwana - isikhumba, ukuba bahlale ngokusisigxina ezintlokweni zabo. Rhoqo bafumana isidingo sokuxoxa malunga ne-Antiquity (= umntwana), ngokungathi sikhusela ilungelo labo lokufumana umntwana. Ngaba ukho umntu obahlutha eli lungelo? Ngapha koko, malunga nomnqweno wakho wobume bomntwana ukuba benze umhlaba kwihlabathi lonke. Kuba phantse ayinakwenzeka ukuba isebenzise le nto, isihloko sokucaphuka asizange siphelelwe.
Ke kutheni abantwana benomsindo? Yonke into enxulumene nobuntwana ihlala ibangela ukuba amava aqonde okanye angazi nto kwimintwana. Oko kukuthi, into ebalulekileyo kwaye ibuhlungu ngenxa yobudala bakho ayiwedwa, kodwa ikhutshiwe kwibhokisi ende. Ewe, umbono wokusebenza kunye ne-ballast le ngokweemvakalelo iza kubo bonke. Endaweni yoko, umntu ongumntwana uzama ukukhuphela ukungakhathali kwicandelo lokujonga, nto leyo eyasungula iinkumbulo ezibuhlungu okanye iimvakalelo ezingathandekiyo. Inokuqatshelwa nokuba uninzi lwazo aluzibize abantwana ukuba luluntu ukuthintela amava kwindoda yabo yomthonyama ehamba ubuntwana babo.
Kwaye, ngeNdlela, malunga nezalamane. Unobangela oqhelekileyo wokuba ngumama okanye utata kukungavumi ukuba 'ngunina "okanye" njengotata ", oko kukuthi, ukubazisa ngabazali babo okanye abantu abathathe indawo yabo. Ukutyhila esi sihloko, kunomdla ngakumbi ukuqaphela abantwana abangamantwana ngohlobo lobuntu. Abo bantu babonakaliswa ngamanqatha kwimfezeko yabo, wonke umntu kunye nobomi, ubukhali obukhoyo ngokuxhomekeke kubunzulu be-psychopatrology. Ukuphuhliswa kwe-mntwana kwenzeka kwimozulu yovavanyo oluphezulu, umntu omncinci ngokuzibandakanya uguquka ukuba abe sisixhobo sokuzimela kwabazali. Elona xabiso lusizi kakhulu lokuziqhelanisa nobugcisa kukukwazi okungapheliyo ukuthanda. Kodwa kwiindawo ezinqwenelekayo kunye nokudakumba akusayi kubakho kuswela. Umzekelo, umfazi ongumfazi othandabuzayo athandabuzayo ukuba angathandani nokuba nabantwana ukuze baziphucuke (ngokungathi umntu akabandakanyi enye) kunye neyona ndawo iphakamileyo yomntu. Oko kukuthi, kuya kukrazula kwaye kugqithise umama, ongasasebenziyo, ngaphandle kokuba azale.
Akunakulindeleka ukuba ufuna ukwazi ukuba ngumzali ongenakulinganiswa, obandayo okanye ukungakhathali. Ayothusi into yokuba abanokwazi, abantwana abaqondi ukuba benze ntoni ngenzala.
Nalu olunye ukhetho. Abanye abantu abadala babengabantwana abadala kusapho, kubangelwa ngabantakwethu baka-dadewethu ngelixa abazali babo babenembilisela okanye baxakekile nenye into. Aba bantu badiniwe kakhulu kukudibana nabantwana, bafuna nje ukuphumla okufanelekileyo.
Okanye njalo. Ukuba utata wayefuna inkwenkwe, kwaye wenza inkwenkwe ephuma entombi yakhe ... intombazana yamadlelo ayivumi ukuzala ukungafumani ngokwesini.
Iimotifs ezinomdla zibonisa ukuba ziphila kwi-oedip. Apha ukuphuculwa kweziganeko kunokuba ngolu hlobo lulandelayo: Kwinqanaba elingaziyo, le ntombazana yayifuna ukunika umntwana uyise (apho ukuya khona - umntu ophambili ebomini), kodwa lo mnqweno wawusenziwa ngenxa yokoyika umama wakhe. Kwaye emva koko wagqiba, kwakhona, ngokungazi, kuya kuba kukhuselekile kunabantwana.
Ikwenzeka kwakhona ukuba amantshontsho esibini anjengomnye nabantwana. Omnye uyawa ebuntwaneni, omnye ubandakanya "umzali. Kwaye banokuyitshintsha le indima. Ke, elinye iqabane lizama ukubuyisela enye into eyayingekabikho ngengozi ebutsheni. Ndixelele, kutheni bengabantwana? Ngelixa umsebenzi wabo kukhule ngokwakho.
Yahlulahlula udidi ezimbalwa lwabafundi baseChayldfrey - abantu bagqibezela ukungabonakali kwabo. Kuncinci kubuhlungu ukuphulukana naye kwi-goriclocance yakhe ukuze babe nabantwana kunokuba baqonde ukuba ayisebenzi ngandlela ithile. Ewe, iphinde imalunga ne-narcissism.
Namagama ambalwa esifinyeziweyo. Ukuba uzijonga kwi-tyrication ye-pawevation, ungabinamntu wokomoya kwaye ungacaphuki ukuba umntu usafuna abantwana, nokuba yintoni ekhokelele kule ndlela, nceda wonwabe!