M'masiku ano, pali magawo ambiri othandiza mzimayi kukhala ndi pakati ndikukhala mayi: chidziwitso, zamankhwala, zamaganizidwe, estiric ndi ena.
Inde, ndipo kuyika kwa anthu kumayamba kugwira ntchito mothandizidwa ndi akazi. Kuchokera pamaukadalo ndi zikwangwani, kuti tsopano chaka cha banjali, chibwana, mpaka chitsimikizo chomwe chawonekera m'mutu mwakuti mkazi ndi woyamba pa amayi onse.
Komabe, kulibe milandu ngati kutenga pakati sikuchitika. Ngati mkazi amachita chilichonse kuti akhale mayi, ndiye kuti njira zosiyanasiyana zachipatala, malo okhala ndi kubereka, kafukufuku wa kuthekera kwake kuyika ndi kuwongolera komwe amathandizira. Kutchuka kumapeza malo osungira eco.
Ndipo ngakhale ndi zodabwitsa zamankhwala amakono, zomwe zidachitika nthawi yayitali sizingabwere. Ndipo ngati zidachitika, zimatha mwachangu komanso movutikira.
Sitidzachitapo kanthu pankhani zamankhwala, popeza mudawerenga nkhaniyi kuti sindilembera ngati mankhwala.
Tiyeni tikambirane zosankha zingapo zakuya mayi amakhala ovuta kukhala. Ndipo ang'onoang'ono azimayi akudziwa, amphamvu amayesa kuthana ndi vutoli pamtunda pomwepo, zomwe zimayesa kuyesayesa kwawo.
Choyamba, ma neurosis ochezera. Uku ndikuyerekeza zadziko lapansi ndi chilengedwe. Izi ndi "kuthandiza". Anzake onse mkalasi ali kale, kapena ana awiri, ndipo wina sangakhwime kufunika kokhala mayi mkati. Mzimayi wotere amayang'ana kwambiri malingaliro a anthu, chifukwa pamaso pa "anthu" amayesa kukhala "mwadongosolo." Akuyesera kukhala naye mwana, osakonda izi, koma makamaka, kwa nkhupakupa. "Yaikira 30-31 wakhala nthawi yayitali." Koma thupi lake ndi lanzeru komanso moona mtima kwambiri kuti ndikofunikira kukhala mayi pompano, chifukwa sizimathandiza kuti pakati paumbi. Kukonzekera kukhala mayi kumachanso, chifukwa pambuyo pake m'thupi adzakhwima mwana. Ndipo njira yofunika kwambiri itatsala pang'ono kuzengereza pamene mkaziyo akadzadutsa magawo ena: Kulenga kwa inu nokha monga akazi, chidwi ndi ntchito pokana, kusonkhana ndi bwenzi ndi kupitiriza kugonjera ana. Mwanjira imeneyi ndi payekha, motero ndizosatheka kunena kuti pofika zaka 30 mkazi aliyense ayenera kudutsa. Choyamba, zimatengera mayi wina, mbiri yake, kuthana ndi kukhoza kuzindikira komanso ntchito yawo yaikazi.
Kachiwiri, kudalirika. Ichi ndi chimodzi mwazinthu zofunikira za anthu wamba, ndipo koposa momwe amakongoletsa amaima. M'machitidwe anga, panali milanduyi atakambirana za "zoyenera kuchita ndi ine kuti ndikhale mayi," ndipo chifukwa cha izi, zidapezeka kuti akukhala ndi amuna omwe sakanakhulupirira. Thupi lawo linali ndi poizoni ndi adrenaline, chifukwa amuna awo amamwa, kumenya, kusintha kapena kukhala ndi moyo wowononga akazi awo. Zinthu zimadziwika ndi mkazi mosasamala ana, motero pakati sizichitika. Nthawi zambiri azimayi oterewa amalungamitsa amuna awo, koma akazi anzeru a ife ndi ovuta kunyenga. Mbiri ya mahomoni yomwe imalimbikitsa malingaliro imapangidwa m'thupi pomwe mayi wakhutitsidwa, kutetezedwa ndi kukhutira ndi momwe mnzake amamuganizira. Zachidziwikire, pali milandu yambiri imasiyana ndi izi pamene mimba ibwera m'malo mosiyana. Komabe, tikulankhula za zofala zofala, bwanji mwana yemwe amayembekezeredwa atakhalabe ndi ntchito.
Chachitatu, zochitika zabanja ndi chisonkhezero cha cholowa chachikazi. Zikuwoneka kuti zingandikhudze momwe amayi amakhala ndikubala ana mibadwo ingapitako? Ndipo nayi madera awo osangalala kapena achisoni? Komabe, pali maphunziro ambiri omwe amasonyeza kuti ndi nkhani ya anthu athu achikazi athu amatikhudza.
Chithandizo chodziwika bwino kwambiri anivelyin Schikutsberger paphunziro lake "Makolo Oipa" adatsutsa kuti chovuta, chowopsa, chosagwirizana ndikusungidwa m'chinsinsi cha mabanja amabwerezedwa mosiyanasiyana.
Mwachitsanzo, kumwalira kwa mwana kapena mayi pobereka, kutayika kowawa ndi kupatukana ndi ana aakazi a azimayi omwe adakumana ndi izi. Zimakhala zovuta kuyankha funso kuti: "Zikuchitika bwanji?" kapena "Chifukwa chiyani?". Pali ziwerengero zokha zomwe zovuta zomwe zovuta zomwe zingakhale ndi vuto la generic.
Kapena mosemphanitsa, "moyo wonse wa ana" ndi banja. Ndipo mibadwo yambiri m'moyo wa makolo itha pomwe ana atangowonekera. Anadziimitsa kudzipereka okha, kulumikizana kunatayika pakati pa okwatirana, aliyense anadzipereka kwa mwana wokulirapo. Nthawi zambiri mumatha kumva kuchokera kwa azimayi omwe amakula m'mabanja otere omwe "mwana ndiye mathero a moyo wanga amene ndimawakonda." Ndipo ngakhale ndi zoyesayesa zonse, mimba sizichitika, chifukwa mkaziyo akukoka chitsiriro ichi.
Mwambiri, mutuwu ndi wokulirapo kotero kuti sizotheka kulemba nkhani, koma yankho lenileni pa kafukufuku wa zifukwa zamaganizidwe omwe amakumana ndi zovuta. Onetsetsani kuti mukupitiliza kulankhula za izi, choncho?
Maria DonaCkova, zamatsenga, othandizira am'banja komanso akutsogolera paubwenzi wapakati pa Marika Khazin