Kugonana tsiku loyamba kumatha kubweretsa zovuta zambiri ngati mulibe chidwi ndi wachiwiri. Ngati mumakonda munthuyo ndipo simukufuna kukulitsa ubale ndi iye ndikukhala banja, kenako kugonana tsiku loyamba si chida chabwino kwambiri pa izi. Chowonadi ndi chakuti chikondi cha munthu mu mkazi umadutsa 3 milingo:
- Wakuthupi
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- Malingaliro.
Mu woyamba, wotsika kwambiri, wathupi, bambo amangofuna mkazi ngati. Pamtundu wachiwiri, wokhumudwa, kapena, mwanjira ina, pamlingo wamtima, munthu amakhala wosangalala mkazi atayandikira. Ndipo pamapeto pake, mu gawo lachitatu, m'maganizo a chikondi - mutu - mwamunayo akufunika kufunitsitsa kusamalira mkazi, kuthetsa mavuto ake.
Kuti ubalewo ufalikire kukhala chinthu chosangalatsa kwambiri, muyenera kutenga munthu m'mutu, chabwino, kapena, ngakhale mumtima. Koma, mwatsoka, ngati bambo angakwaniritse zosowa zake zogonana ndi inu, njira yomwe ili pamwambapa mudzafunikira luso lina. Mwamuna angowona mbuye wake yekha, ndipo zingakhale zovuta kuti awone wina mwa inu. Tsoka ilo, kugonana si chinthu chakuti mutha kumusunga munthu. Ngati ubale wanu umangomangidwa pokhapokha, ndiye ataimirira kumapeto kuoneka onyengerera pamaso pa mnzanu, mwamunayo amakusiyani.
Njira yabwino ndikupereka nthawi kuti mudziwene wina ndi mnzake, awulule wamkulu monga osangalatsa, wokongola, mkazi wofunikira kwambiri. Mudzaona pankhani yogonana ndipo ikhala yolimbikitsidwa kwambiri, osati chibwibwi cha maziko a ubale wanu.