Kumvetsetsa zakukhosi kwawo, malingaliro awo komanso kuthekera kothetsa, mwayi waukulu kuti ukwaniritse zolinga zofunika ndikukhutira ndi moyo wanu.
Ufulu wosankha zambiri, munthu amene wachita bwino kwambiri akukwaniritsidwa. Ngati izi sizili choncho, ndiye kuti akuvutika ndi moyo, nthawi zina sazindikira ngakhale zomwe zimayambitsa tsoka lake ndi. Malinga ndi katswiri wazamisala, woyeserera wa sayansi ya zamankhwala, mlangizi wa umunthu, woyambitsa bungwe la psychotherepy ndi kuphunzitsa zifukwa zazikulu zolephera ndi kusaphunzira.
- Olga, ndizotheka kunena kuti chimodzi mwazomwe zimayambitsa kusaphunzira malingaliro sikuti kukwaniritsidwa? Kodi pali cholumikizira pakati pa izi?
- pali zomveka. Palibe zofuna zake. Kodi Zolakalaka Zotani? Uku ndiye zonena za moyo, kulakalaka kukwaniritsa kanthu, kudikirira kwa moyo wowonjezereka. Koma munthu akalandira izi, zofuna zake zimasanduka zopweteka, osati zomasuka. Muyenera kuyang'ana chifukwa chomwe chinachitikira. Chifukwa chiyani kuli zoti, ndipo maluso ndi zizolowezi zokwaniritsa cholinga chokhazikitsidwa.
Aliyense wa ife ali ndi mwayi wotayika kwa munthu aliyense, ndipo izi ndi zongotha kuwerenga - izi zimamuthandiza, mphamvu zake ndi zofooka zake.
Mwachitsanzo, ndikadzikhala ndi thabwa kuti ndikhale dokotala waluso kwambiri, sindingachite bwino, chifukwa palibe chipiriro chotere, chifukwa kulibe kupirira kwa maola eyiti, ndikuyika thabwa kuti akhale dokotala wowongolera. M'derali - zopanda tanthauzo kwathunthu. Ichi ndichifukwa chake kuli kofunikira kudalira mphamvu zanu, ndi imodzi mwazinthu zotha kuwerenga, mutha kuyika matabwa akuluakulu ndikuwakwaniritsa.
- Ndimakayikira kuti anthu ambiri amamvera kwambiri zomwe akufuna pamoyo. Hafu ya anthu akugwira ntchito yomwe sakonda kuganiza za izi.
- Sindinachitepo ziwerengero zotere, koma ndikuwona kuchokera mchitidwe wanga womwe anthu amavutika kwambiri ndi zomwe amachita ngati sizimawapatsa chisangalalo, sawasangalatsa kapena ndi ovuta. Ndipo akuwona kuti winawake watsala pang'ono kugwiritsa ntchito zoyesayesa zambiri, zimapangitsa kuti zikhale zosavuta komanso zimakwanitsa mwachangu. Chifukwa chake, anthu awa amabwera kwa ine kuti akupatseni uthenga ndi kufunsa kuti: "Sindikudziwa kuti ndisunthe, ndiribe mphamvu, palibe chofuna kugwira ntchito." Kenako tikukambirana, chifukwa chiyani munthuyo adapita kumapeto akufa.
- Ndipo chifukwa chiyani nthawi zambiri?
- Cholinga chake ndi chakuti kuyambira makolo oyambilira amaika zosintha zomveka: zomwe ndizotchuka, ndizopindulitsa, zomwe ndi zolondola. Anthu awa, osadziyanja okha, akwaniritsa zotsatira zina, koma chisangalalo chozama sichinayesedwe.
Zaka makumi atatu ndi zisanu - makumi anayi - iyi ndi m'badwo wowopsa kwambiri pomwe malingaliro aposachedwa akusweka. Mwamuna ali mwana, zikuwoneka kuti zonse zakhala ndi nthawi ndipo zonse zikadalipo. Nthawi ikupita, palibe chomwe chikuchitika, zaka makumi anayi zikuyandikira ndipo munthu amamvetsetsa kuti iye yekha sadzalimbana, chifukwa amamvetsetsa kuti pamapeto pake anasokonezeka ndipo akumana ndi zomwe sakonda. Ndipo zomwe amakonda kuchita, sanamvetsetse, ndiye kuti pali kumverera kosakhutira nthawi zonse.
- Ngati munthu sanadzipeze yekha pa m'badwo umenewo, mwina ayenera kugwira ntchito modekha ndipo osatembenuza chilichonse kuchokera kumutu kwake? Kupatula apo, kudzifufuza sikungabweretse chilichonse ku chilichonse?
- Anthu awa ndi kugwira ntchito m'malo otero chifukwa cha chikhulupiriro chabwino, odalirika, koma funsolo likumveka ngati ili: "Ndingakhale bwanji ndi kusangalala ndi moyo, kuchokera ku moyo? Momwe mungakhalire kuti musangalale ndi moyo. "
- Si aliyense amene amapatsidwa moyo ndikusangalala ndi moyo, momwemonso tsoka lakula ndikuyenera kupirira. Kodi mukuganiza kuti kukoma kwa moyo ndi mkhalidwe?
- Ndikumvetsa zisungo zanu, koma vutoli ndizovomerezeka. Zikumveka zachilendo, chifukwa akatswiri azamisala akhala akuwona kuti chizolowezi cha kuvutika komanso kunyadira pa zowawa zathu ndizofanana ndi chikhalidwe chathu, malingaliro athu aku Russia. Chikhalidwe chilichonse chimakhala ndi zochitika zake zokha. Mu kawonedwe waku Russia kumakhala kovuta - kusakhutira m'moyo. Zambiri, anthu samayesa kuyang'ana china chake, china chosintha. Amavutika, ndipo amakwanitsa kupindula ndi izi. M'malo mwake, awa ndi anthu olimba kwambiri, koma zofuna zawo zimagwiritsidwa ntchito kuti zikhale masochism.
Mwachitsanzo, ku Britain, zochitika zina, zimakhala zamphamvu kwambiri komanso kufikira anthu pankhaniyi. Chifalansa nthawi zambiri amakhulupirira kuti moyo umangoperekedwa kosangalatsa.
- Chifukwa chiyani zovuta pambuyo pake? Chifukwa chiyani munthu amalephera kumva?
- Mavuto a moyo wa moyo umachitika munthu akamamvetsetsa kuti samachita zomwe akufuna kuchita, kenako amayamba kusweka ndikumenya ndi kuwononga zonse m'njira yake. Kusudzulana, kuchotsedwa ntchito, kutaya bizinesi, abwenzi. Kenako amayamba kumanga chilichonse kuyambira kungoyang'ana, ndipo zonse zitadzisonkhanitsanso, zolembedwazo zimabwerezedwa. Kupatula apo, chifukwa sichingathetsedwe. Chifukwa chake ndikuopa kukhala momwe ndikufunira. Ngakhale zomwe zimayambitsa sizichotsedwa, mantha a ana sagwira ntchito, zinthu sizinali zovuta kusintha.
- Mumawagwira ntchito bwanji, kodi pali matekinoloji? Mafunso ena amafunsa?
- Izi zimatchedwa chithandizo. Palibe mafunso apadera, koma pali mfundo - ndiko kulumikizana kwambiri. Ndikofunikira kumvetsetsa zomwe munthu akuwona chifukwa chake akuchita mantha.
Mfundo yochita opareshoni - kumvera chisoni, kulengedwa kwa malo othandizira, mu mgwirizano womwe timayenda pang'onopang'ono.
Nthawi zina munthu amakhala wowopsa kunena zomwe akumva, ngakhale zake.
Ntchito ya katswiri wothandizirana ndi kupanga gulu la anthu oyandikira lomwe adzalandire thandizo. Fotokozerani kuti malamulo osasinthika akugwira ntchito m'moyo: ngati mukufuna kusintha china chake m'moyo wanu, kenako sinthani mawonekedwe, zochita zanu wamba, zomwe zimayamba kupanga zizolowezi zomwe zingakuthandizeni lero. Ndipo pankhaniyi pokhapokha wakale udzabweza.
- Kodi muli ndiukadaulo wokulira mu maubale? Kodi njira yomwe imalola amayi achichepere kuti azikhala m'tsogolo, osayang'ana malo? Kodi zikugwirizana ndi kuwerenga kwa malingaliro?
"Ndimagwira ntchito ndi anthu omwe ali ndi bizinesi yolimba komanso molimba mtima nditha kunena kuti gawo la banja lolimba mu bizinesi komanso lalikulu kwambiri pantchito. Koma kuti apange ubale wodalirika, ndikofunikira kuti pa gawo loyamba la anthu omwe ali pachibwenzi sakhala m'mavuto ena omwe ali m'mavuto, ndipo akanatha kusiyanitsa zolinga zenizeni ndipo anali okonzeka kusintha.
Mmodzi mwa makasitomala anga anali ndi maubale odabwitsa ndi mnyamata, ndipo iye anali m'mawu achabechabe monga momwe akuyembekezera. Mtsikana wina wazaka makumi awiri adadziwona yekha mu kavalidwe kaukwati choyera komanso mphete pachala.
Ndinamulangiza kuti adziwe zolinga za mnzake, ndipo zimandikhumudwitsa kwambiri. Sanagwiritsire ntchito moyo wake ndi iye, amangofuna kugwiritsa ntchito nthawi yakeyekha ndi iye, ndi mkhalidwe womwe amalipira maulendo onse, ndipo samamuganizira.
Palibe kusalemekeza izi, sizinangogwirizana ndi zosowa zawo, ndipo anamuuza momveka bwino zomwe akufuna kuchokera pamaubwenzi awa. Kwa iye, mwachidziwikire, inali sewero. Anatenga masiku angapo misozi, chifukwa kunenetsa zabwino za zopeka zawo ndizovuta kwambiri.
- Kapena mwina munathamangira kuti mudziwe ubalewo?
- Palibe chabwino, ubalewu umakhala ndi funso loti azinyalanyaza. Posakhalitsa adafunsa mafunso awa, m'mbuyomu adazindikira kuti munthuyo sayenera. Koma, choyamba, muyenera kumvetsetsa kuti mufunika kuchokera kwa mnzake ndipo musafunikire kukhala ndi maubwenzi akuluakulu kuti musatenge vuto.
Choyipa kwambiri chidzakhala pamene mumvetsetsa izi, ndipo pakati panu, ndiye kuti pali kuwonongeka kwathunthu kwa zonunkhira. Koma izi zisanachitike zizindikilo zambiri zosokoneza, koma sitikufuna kuziganizira. Kwa ife, chinthu chachikulu ndi chithunzi chokongola komanso maloto. Ndipo nthawi zonse pamakhala zizindikilo.
- perekani chitsanzo.
- Munthu samayankha mafoni, samayimba tikamakambirana, sayankha mafunso okhudza mafunso. Zimakhala mwanjira yoti zimakupatsani kusasangalala, mumagawana naye zomwe zakuchitikirani, ndipo sasamala za izi, sizikuwerengedwa kuti ndi nthawi yanu, ndi zovuta zanu. Pali zizindikilo zambiri, ndikofunikira kuti mumvere. Awa ndi dzina la chitetezo.
- Kodi ndizotheka kuwonjezerera kuwerenga kwanu, kodi pali njira zina, zolimbitsa thupi?
- Zedi inu Meyi. Izi zikuwunika kwambiri tsiku, lomwe masiku ano mudawona kuti mudawona kuti mumaganiza izi. Kodi mudachita zonse zomwe mukufuna zomwe mudachita mantha, zomwe zidachita manyazi. Muyenera kulemba ndemanga - imakweza ndikuphunzitsa munthu kusadalira zizindikilo zakunja, koma yang'anani mkati mwanu. Zikugwira. Simuyenera kungotaya mtima wanu, muyenera kuthana ndi vutoli.
Kondweretsani makasitomala anu kuti alembe zolemba. Ndipo, tsiku ndi tsiku, anthu amaphunzira. M'malo mochita mantha kuti mumazolowera komanso kuti mwatsogolera mobwerezabwereza ku fiasco, muyenera kungoima kaye ndikuganiza zakhumi.