Unfortunately, in our country, children had previously brought up a contactless way when tactile contact was minimal. In Soviet times, children were recommended to feed on the clock, not approaching them when they cry. But with tactile, the warmth of the mother body, the feeling of the smell of the mother comes security. As a result, most children from infancy have formed a sense of danger of this world. A manual method of education was used to top it up - on the fifth point could be obtained for anything. Thus, the whole generations of "broken" children grew. And if the shifts occurred in relation to tactivity for the better, then in relation to the raising of children, the strap is still minimal shifts. It seemed to be part of the mentality. Very many, such education methods are perceived as an option of the norm. "And what, we beat - and nothing, grew up ..." They say, justifying themselves or others.
Marianna Abavitova
What happens to the child?
Any assault on the side of close people is very strongly undermining the confidence in them, which means that everyone else. The consequence of slap and humiliation becomes a decrease in self-assessment and loss of respect for themselves, and creative abilities, the desire to be the leader and achieve something. There are often cases of pessimism. The child can grow a man without his own opinion. Such children often fall in bad companies.
Even a simple slap, the poddle is the gross violation of the personality boundaries of the person. In children who beat even "in educational purposes," will not be able to form the ability to defend their own borders in adulthood.
As a result of the aggressive behavior of parents, the child begins to unconsciously share the whole world on the "victims" and "aggressors", which affects adulthood. For example, a sacrifice girl as a spouse will choose the aggressor to subconsciously recreate the cruel situation with her childhood. And the boy aggressor can start torture the family.
How to stay from the manual project?
If you hit your child, you have the problems of psychological order. You need to decide with a specialist. You do not control yourself and your emotions, raising your hand on the child. With one hundred percent confidence, we can say that they themselves beat in childhood. Even aware of the whole horror of what is happening, in the state of anger and irritation your brain tells you the only way out of the situation - to hit your child. At the same time, aggression is not aimed at him, it is dissatisfied with himself.
Future parents are encouraged to undergo courses of therapy from good psychologists to completely eliminate such situations, understand their problems and learn how to cope with them. And at the same time to learn emotionality and tactivity when raising children. Look at animals as they lick their kids to a certain age, do not beat them and do not offend! The formation of a harmonious personality is helped by tactivity, emotionality and love.