What is an alliance with a normal guy? You meet, start to communicate, then become a pair, spend the time perfectly, marry and then on the list. Many women, although they argue the opposite, consider such a development of relations boring - where without public findings out of conflicts and theatrical cotton doors? But the relationship with bad guys is a real field for training its ability to argue inappropriately. Passion boils, the tension is growing between you, literally sparks roll out of the eyes - beauty? Not! We translate the material of Psychology Today, where the foreign family psychotherapist Forest Tallie explains why the girls get to the bad guys once again.
Bad guys - who is
one. Cool guy . The guy who remains to disturb the law, publicly showing that he does not care about social norms. Quickly annoyed, may insult and threaten, show aggression. Flashes of such a state are unpredictable, but also they are only part of his image.
2. Incorrectly understood loner . This is a guy who violates all social norms and goes its own way, even if he leaves after himself chaos, mental pain and bad feelings for those who continue to take care of him. Always silent and thoughtful, he has little or no friends at all.
3. Forever Young . In this guy you can find the irrepressible immaturity, which gives him a boyish charm, but also forces him to constantly experience problems due to minor legal violations or conflicts with the boss, family, friends and almost with everyone, except for his dog.
four. Successful daffodil. A person who assures everyone within hearing that he:
A. Alfa-male.
B. incredibly rich.
C: Expert in all things, especially in sports and women.
don't worship such a man
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Five reasons why women are associated with them
one. Stupid error . "The man was charming, attractive and attentive, and my client, seeing good qualities and not yet knowing about his dark side, turned out to be involved in the novel. After emotional investments and creating a very positive look at a man, it was difficult for her to believe that bad qualities were part of his main nature, "the psychologist writes.
Women at this stage often remain in a relationship, because they believe that a person will correct and wake bad qualities. They are ready to change themselves, adjusting to the partner. Despite the bad appeal to her, a woman will believe that their history has a happy end in the form of a wedding, a huge house and a heap of children.
2. An attempt to become a psychotherapist . Some women are peculiar to the psychotype of the Savior: they are ready to pull a man from all his psychological injuries, assuring that the game is worth the candle. This is usually due to the sharp need for attention on the verge with the desire to fully enjoy a person, knowing all its weaknesses. "These women consider" bad guys "as diamonds in untreated form, which simply need an energetic polishing to smooth out the uneven edges. As soon as it is achieved, all the wonderful qual qualities of a person will be shifted, "the therapist writes.
3. They lack confidence . These women usually know about the shortcomings of a man, but ignore them, believing that it will be difficult for them to find a partner better. They are wondering if people really find them in interesting things without these drawbacks. After one or two novels with such men, a woman becomes even more convinced that it would be stupid to strive for higher standards for the partner with whom she hopes to have a relationship. In her opinion, the desire to the highest will lead to even greater sincere pain.
four. Fear of intimacy . "They consciously choose men who are unlikely to form a mature relationship, and see a certain feeling of comfort and compliance with their needs," a specialist notes in relationships with a bad guy. Such a novel is safe for them, since women are well aware that they will not receive more than an incineration. So you can relax and do not think that a man will lead you under a crown. Only under such circumstances, some ladies are ready to behave naturally and enjoy the moment.
It is not worth counting on a strong connection
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five. Neurotics . "Life seems threatening ... and for some, given their circumstances, this perception is correct. They have a strong desire to be with someone tough enough to meet face to face with the world, and to drive a retaliatory blow when it is necessary. " The ability to stand up for myself and your interests is not bad, just a partner of such a girl in case of problems will think about their comfort, and not her feelings. Such men are complete egoers. And all because in fact they are not confident: soon the girl will see that they are trying to control her.
It may be difficult to escape from such relationships. His hidden, but deep uncertainty causes a sympathy in a woman, even pity. This creates a difficult position: leave someone who is so vulnerable, feels abandoned. However, an adequate woman who finds himself in relationships with such a guy will do everything possible to get out of them.