"Hello Maria!
I really need your advice! Help! Regarding some features of the behavior of my young man. We have already found more than a year, and a couple of months ago began to live together. We have always had a calm relationship. I would even say that very calm. He is not a particularly sociable man. He has few friends with whom he is infrequently found. I am much more sociable, I love guests. While we did not live together, it was not a problem. We spent the time together and separately, with friends. I got used to that they can look toward me almost at any time on the other. Now it has become difficult. Due to the fact that I live now with my young man. He, of course, does not swear, does not try to ban something to me, but just becomes sad and goes to the next room. Practically does not sit with us, at best, 5 minutes. My girlfriends are different - their boyfrends are merry, always come to support the conversation, sometimes they do not even be expelled to chat about women's. And my - like a donkey IA, sad and removed. I do not even say that it is not pulled out by his ticks somewhere with the company. I don't know how to be: I need to wait for him to get used to my friends or try to slowly teach him? Or do not touch? But the main thing - I do not understand why he avoids communicating with others? Maybe he does not like my friends? Olga.
Hello Olga!
Thanks for your letter. I will try to give a useful answer.
It seems to me that the case is in the type of character. The fact that you describe, it looks like a schizoid type (no need to be afraid of this word, we are not talking about the diagnosis, but about the character). People of such a warehouse are really closed and suspended, not seeking turbulent fun and noisy companies. They are uncomfortable in the society of a large number of people. As a rule, they prefer loneliness, well, or quiet, calm chat together. The thing is that they have high sensitivity and as a result, they are trying to avoid any restoring - loud music, intensive communication and any fuss in general. All this causes them very strong tension. They try to establish a safe distance with others. They simply need their own space. They are also very delicate in relation to other people, try not to break their borders. With such a person, not everyone can be seized, since he will always need a safe personal space. And you can not do anything about it. But with all this, he can be caring in personal relationships. So the choice is yours ...
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