Last time I touched upon the problem of crisis in relationships. Today I would like to continue it, but in a little unexpected perspective.
As you know, there are three options for the development of relations after the crisis.
The first is a transition to a new stage of development of relations. The most successful and happy way out. I touched this topic a little in my previous post.
Another option is much less attractive. This is care from the problem. It seems that the family is saved by the whole. But the current situation is unbearable, and it is impossible to take any decisions regarding problems. As a result, the accumulated stress is poured into treason, severe diseases, alcoholism, other dependencies, and so on.
Well, the third output is a divorce. As I said, overcome the crisis is possible only when both partners want it. If one of them does not want to invest more in the relationship, you will not force it for them. And then you have to complete the relationship ...
Survive divorce is very difficult. No wonder they say that parting is a little death. And if it is inevitable? Life has happened so, and nothing can be done here. Do not grieve now forever! We must look for some positive parties. That is what I wanted to devote my real post.
So, the pluses of divorce. Yes, yes, you did not hear, pluses.
First of all, the divorce is not the worst way out, because you avoided the 2nd version of the development of events - to change, alcoholism, care to illness, etc. This is a much healthier and safe outcome for all family members. That is, you will no longer have to carry a suitcase without a handle!
Another plus is that the person who survived the divorce becomes an order of magnitude more mature. Better disassembled in relationships. In the words and actions of the other sees not only what lies on the surface. More confidently distinguishes true feelings from passion.
Positive is the experience of family life in itself. After a divorce, people are more clearly beginning to understand what they want from relationships, with which shortcomings of their partner they are willing to put up, and with what - no. Expectations and requirements for life satellite are becoming more adequate and realistic.
The experience of joing a joint household appears. There is an understanding how to distribute time, with which you can cope on your own, and what you need help.
Valuable is the experience of planning a family budget. After all, rarely when it happens that it is enough for all the whims of all family members. Good expenses planning skills significantly improving the quality of life.
Important is the experience of interaction with relatives. Long beaten the topic that the mother-in-law and mother-in-law are not chosen. And at least minimal communication with them inevitably. It is necessary to somehow imagine it to do so that on the one hand do not go against your own pride, but on the other - to not offend the opposite direction. This is a very useful skill that can be used in other life situations.
There is free time, which can be disposed of, as your heart.
This means that there are more opportunities to build a career, an additional time appears for self-development, you can expand the list of your hobbies and so on and so on.
Finally, it comes to relief that quarrels ended, Rugan and endless clarification of relations. Do not live anyone else to dine the brain and endure meal. You can exhale and fun to say: "Adyn, Savsham Adyn!"
Perhaps someone will have a question, but what about children now? Okay! A family in which many conflicts and tension, in which parents become strangers for each other, will not be useful for the child. He will not be happy in her. For children, emotional contact with parents, their love and understanding, and not accommodation on one living space. In addition, it is terrible to imagine what a "happy family life" is a child as a result. And whether he can create his own prosperous family for this model.
The divorce may be an awful, dramatic and unbearable, but this is not the end of the world. Everything is bad and unpleasant once ends. Behind the black stripe will ensure white. And then you can look at the divorce as a ticket to a new life - free, beautiful and happy. In which you can build everything differently, as you want. Not in vain it is said that there is no humus without good. There would be no happiness, but misfortune helped;)